(Sittiing In The Drafts) 4/12/23 Obligation. Default. Bitter People. Peace...

You can se the PUBLISHED date to the left. This was written in real time that day. 

I never wanted this place to become something where I felt 'obligated' to share stuff and anytime it started to feel that way, I've withdrawn. I say that because there's a difference between wanting to share something so that other people can use it and MAYBE apply it to their situations/use it to vent out frustrations and feelings as opposed to straight up being obligated to tell EVERY SINGLE FACET OF YOUR LIFE at all times. 

Of course there are other determining factors. How much joy or pain the Life may be bringing at the moment. The need to tell 'my side of things' and stuff like that but at a certain point, even for me, sharing here does get limited. ESPECIALLY when I feel like I'm being repetitive. Good or bad. 

It gets old. I'm not about to make a million posts about the same thing especially if my feelings haven't changed about said thing. Maybe if I have a change of heart or I've found some perspective in regards to it then I'll delve back into it though. 

With that, sans the little burps and hiccups that Life brings, allow me to surmise the last month or so in this post as I could have just literally made the same post for almost 30 straight days. 

Life is peaceful for me despite it's ups and downs. Great things have happened. Not so great things have happened. Each day, I kept on living. 

I can sleep at night knowing my phone isn't full of bullshit when I wake up in the morning, the kids are going to be the kids and the Sun will shine again after a few rainy days. 

I can go where I want with having to justify it to anyone, plan vacations around just me, take a ride if I want to or just stay in the house without 'probable cause' or being 'up to something'. 

A more succinct sentence would be that I'm free. Which sounds an awful lot like I was incarcerated but I wasn't. At least not physically, although the anxiety manifested itself in physical pain literally. This is where today's post is going to take 'the turn', as it usually does in all the posts that I publish. This is what you came to read I assume so here we go. 

The bad part?

I put myself in that jail. I didn't have to go. I could have literally walked out of it at any time. I chose to stay because I thought working it out was what you do as that's all I knew. It wsn't even about love, which WAS PRESENT, because I know at my big age, that's NEVER ENOUGH. As bad as we'd like it to be it just isn't. Hell, having someone understand your situation isn't enough for some so we know LOVE ISN'T ENOUGH. Or we should anyway. 

I know better now though. Which I'm not sure is such a great thing... 

You see me 'knowing that now' is a gift and a curse. I know so I can look out for it right? Right. It can't be my default though. It will get in my way EVERY TIME someone new comes along. I'll find a way to fuck it up if I do it that way. 

It also SIMPLY CANNOT BECOME MY PERSONALITY. 

Why not? I mean, we all deserve and we SHOULDN'T TAKE ANY SHIT FROM ANYONE RIGHT?

RIGHT?

Correct. We shouldn't take any shit from anyone. 

What we ALSO shouldn't be doing is taking our PAST and PROJECTING IT ON PEOPLE due to a few similarities in nature of a situation. In other words, we need to make sure that what we think is 'shit' isn't just a case of living differently, a bad fit, etc, etc. Probably shouldn't be running around demonizing people because they don't fit our requirements. Even if that happens because their situations change. We probably also should be ANTICIPATING SUCH CHANGES as some are just common sense but that's a whole other post. 

That's the person I AM NOT GOING TO BECOME. The self sabotage person. 

Over the YEARS, I've been watching all the little (Tik Tok more recently..) videos, the YouTube videos from both the man hating women, the women hating men, dating gurus, the Fems, The Mannist, Manosphere, Era girls and whoever else you can think of AND LET ME TELL YOU..*

The WAR that is being waged is pathetic. Simply pathetic. On BOTH SIDES. I'm talking about hurt people running around telling other hurt people all KINDS OF BUM BEHAVIOR TACTICS TO USE because apparently both genders ain't shit. All this talk of 'The Wall' or 'bare mininum' is so extreme and screams that people need to get over their past traumas AND probably that they need to touch some grass. We have YOUNG dudes ponificating on women twice their age and their 'plight in Life' as if that is even their dating pool. We've got young girls talking about older dudes in the same light. 6,6,6 talk. Single Mom slander. Etc... Lastly, we've got those in the middle of those two demos trying to pigionhole EVERYONE into a box, shaming them along the way. What a clusterfuck. 

I wouldn't believe these fools if they told me the Sun was hot. I'd literally have to go see for myself. That's how dishonest this crap is. 

Full stop man. FULL FUCKING STOP. There is no way that BOTH genders to a PERSON are horrible people. No fucking way. I don't care WHO YOU'VE ENCOUNTERED. How much your heart was broken or what kind of 'covert narc' or whatever it is you claim EVERY EX PERSON YOU'VE EVER BEEN WITH HAS BEEN you have encountered. This madness is a pity party of EPIC proportions. 

Forget accountability, let's just not start off negative as hell and then claim we want to find a great person. Who wants some BITTER PERSON from either gender? I know if I were a woman, I wouldn't want some women hating dude who thinks I'm the exception. As a man, I SURELY don't want some man hating woman because the minute I do something she doesn't like, she's going to hate me too, adding me to the list of men that didn't live up to her impossible Fantasy's standards seeing as though she ALREADY HATED MEN... 

Been there and done that. 

So no, I will not become THAT PERSON. The person who looks for the evil in everyone while double talking about 'we are all human'. Humans ARE FLAWED so there is going to be some bad. Deal with it. The Fantasy that you are dreaming about that is the perfect one is never going to happen and if you let that Fantasy be your guide, nobody will ever live up to it. Ever. 

No, I'm not going to take anybody's shit but let's first see if it's 'shit' to begin with. It may be just a different way of doing things and if that's not for me, that's fine too. I don't have to declare that person the shittiest person ever because I'm atttacted to them, want them to be mine but the way they do things, live or their situation just doesn't mesh with me. We HAVE TO CUT THAT OUT. Well, we don't have to do shit actually but I know I AM NOT GOING TO BE DOING THAT. 

I won't be forcing square pegs into round holes though either in hope that the corners 'smooth themselves' out. Now if that's 'not taking anybody's shit', I'm down for that all day. I GET THAT. Again, though, we don't need to be out here calling people bad people because they don't fit into our LIVES. That's just shitty behavior. 

Look, I have stories for DAYS about all the things I'm seeing on all of these social media outlets and I UNDERSTAND the pain that these situations have caused IF ALL THE STORIES ARE TRUE. I really do. I understand to see if you aren't 'crazy' by seeing if others can relate or have similiar stories. Cool. Do that too. Maybe give a little bit advice about what helped you or even get some. This obsessession shit y'all are out here doing though?

Too much. Way too much. No way you are HEALED if you are this obsessed with talking about your ex (or exes..). You can't be. You are too engrossed in it currently to be over it. You haven't let it go. At all. 

What are we REALLY DOING THOUGH making this our PERSONALITY trait? How HEALTHY IS THAT SHIT? 

It's not. I refuse. Will I address it as it bubbles up, IF IT EVEN BUBBLES UP? Sure will. Every time. That's fine. I have no issues with folks doing that. Hell, I JUST DID IT HERE. Here's what I think I don't want to do.... 

Make my whole personality off of the big break up of my Life? Fuck that shit. 

What about the Death of your Wife or your parents? Read again. Talking about your experience is fine. I said that up top. I do that. HERE. You know what I'm not doing? I'm not out here calling myself 'Widower111812', SheLiedAboutBeingDivorcedtwice1002015 or "Orphan60220112022' or some shit in my usernames and profiles either. Y'all gotta cut the victimhood shit out. Your whole personality is victimhood. This is not okay. You ARE NOT OKAY. 

Again, I could do ALL THE THINGS I SEE ON SOCIAL MEDIA in regards to dating. The little series about folk's dating profiles from the Bumble's, Tinders, POF and other places. It looks relatively EASY TO fall victim into doing that too as EVERYONE IS DOING IT so it seems. 

Posting up text messages with blurred out numbers outlining 'ain't shit people' and their 'disorders' Put up their medical history...criminal history... This is PATHETIC behavior, making money off of making videos of people just trying to live their lives...

This is why I decided NOT to type or post in anger many many many MANY TIMES on here or have edited it down to keep things to a minimum. Long after I am NOT upset, I'm going to hold myself to these standards that I 'm typing out now and I don't want to look like these people I am seeing out here. Just pathetic. 

Too much drama for me man. Y'all got it. No, nobody's made a video about me. :) I don't have to experience something to know it is a shitty thing to do. :) You know what I have seen? My ex featured on one and that's just...CRAZY and wrong. Maybe not wrong though because that ex wants to grow their channel. They may love it so I can't call it. 

Understand that I'm talking about MEN AND WOMEN HERE. There are PLENTY OF MEN who run these types of channels. We all know there are women who use social media to do this so I really feel like I don't have to say that is the case. Every other video in my FYP type page on ANY SOCIAL MEDIA is littered with this mess. I've PURPOSELY put in other things to try to change the alg and it still filters it's way back in. 

At this rate, very few people will ever truly be healed and will continue to bleed all over everything and everyone they encounter. Which is fine, I'll sit it out. I won't become one of these soldiers, fighting a war that we'll never win, get a medal for or get a reward. Too much Life to live. Sorry. 

Yes, I know that this means. I'm okay with that. I know I gave it a true shot. I've lived a little. Just wasn't meant to be I guess and having a steady supply of THAT isn't worth the headache. On to the next chapter of Life! Life could be a whole lot worse. 

Peaceful times. Sunny days and living Life. 

*All the years I watched this stuff, I NEVER let it talk me outta my relationship. I can't say the same for my partners. I know when, where and who they got their talking points from. Like clockwork. 

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The Year 2025....

For most parents, especially those of us on our LAST kid, the graduating year of that kid is a pivotal moment. 

We are on a COUNTDOWN like no other. Let me be the first to say it. 

The difference for some of us is this....

We know parenting isn't OVER on that magical graduation day. 

Yes, there steps that are going to be made. School. Work. SOMETHING. 

Yes, there will be more free time for the parent as they transition hopefully from DOING THEIR JOB TO THE FULLEST to doing more for themselves. You've heard the sayings so I don't have to list them.. You've probably said them, live by them, etc... 

All of that exists to varying degrees for almost every parent at this stage but we ALL KNOW that it isn't over. 

They still usually need us in some capacity. 

Does that mean that we need to be on the immediate standby that we were on during their K-12th grade years?

NO. In fact, one should go live a little. Duh! It also doesn't mean that there won't be times when your young adult needs you. Hopefully, you've equipped them with all the tools they need to survive and if you are the 'sink or swim' type of parent, your conscious can be clear as you watch them doggy paddle through Life. This is where things start to split. 

The 'enabling' parent. Any kind of help is enabling in this case. Don't believe me. Ask anyone who didn't get any help. That's their stance. lol So we are just going to go with it. I'm being sarcastic here. Also, some folks don't consider free attendance to college, getting a job via their parents, etc help either so there's that..

Versus

The parent that doesn't 'enables' their children by letting them fail on their own miserably at first, only to come back and help with all kinds of ' I told you so.." The one that could have helped, let the kid refuse help, and then ends up having to help them when they are older when both parties have built of resentment. The 'child' needs help but they don't want to take it from the parent, who is now on their horse about the failures of the past. Failures that the parent probably pushed on the kid by putting pressure on them to do certain things and offering either help with heavy dose of control or no help at all. 

Most of us are TRUTHFULLY trying to fall in the middle. Letting them learn along the way but not letting them do damage or using our own experiences as a punishment towards them because 'we had to go through it' as the sole reason. It's bullshit. You are supposed to be a BETTER PARENT than your parents. Even if you were parents were GREAT. That's the bar. 

2025 is the last time I get to put that into practice. This kid is a totally different kid than my others. You also get better at parenting as you go or well YOU SHOULD. There are couple of things I've already done to hopefully make 2025 smooth. There's another factor with the real possibility of her playing collegiately in her sport so that changes the dynamic as I will want to see that. 

My situation is different because since I am a male, we usually aren't 'expected' to show up until graduation and then MAYBE if the kid does something in college. I said 'expected' like that because truth be told, there are some men who aren't involved at all. Until the day the kid walks the stage... Prior to that time, they spend their time ducking their responsibilities, putting it on the Mother and all of that stuff. 

I'm not that dude. Never been that dude. Being widowed didn't make me not that dude. That was NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. 

This is a situation that is not the product of that. I was who I was when I got here..- Jay-Z paraphrased. 

A real Father. Put in time and not just money Father. As I SHOULD BE so hold your applause. It's okay. Really. I have enough people who let me know I'm doing a FINE job. That doesn't change the facts. 

The facts are also that because I am this way AND I'm by myself, my shit gets put under the microscope extra hard. I'm also expected to abandon my kids if I want someone in my Life. Maybe even for her kids to some extent...

Or so I thought.. 

Finding out there are plenty of good women, attractive in both body and spirit to me, that DON'T FEEL THIS WAY. At all. 

This is makes the journey worth it more a bit. Oh, I was going to complete it ANYWAY because that's my job/mission/pleasure to do. I thought it was possible the entire time but Life is gonna Life and it dealt a blow to the plans. 

The fire is still there though. So are the options. So are the options.... 

Good luck to all of you parents, not only in 2025 but before and after.*

Remember, you are enough and it is worth it. All of it. 

Those that don't understand just don't need to be around and please don't give that understanding to someone else who won't truly give it to you back. It should be reciprocal. 

Keep going. Your kids will appreciate it hopefully but more importantly, you'll know that you did your best. 

*That graduating year of 2025 will be a CIVIL DAY on my end. I'm there for my kid. That's it. Hope all will be there for their kid only too. 

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On Feeling Seen:

I've felt seen lately again.. 

Not in a physically attractive sense either. Although that definitely happens. Some folks see me just fine in that light but I also know that there's more to Life than that. It is nice though and it's not like it ever stopped. I just handled myself like I was in something because, well, I was. It's cool to see it though. That's not what really ever moved me. Unbeknownst to some people. I really need to be 'seen'. As a person. 

Not yammerimg on about the comments on my social media, although I know some of those people offline so I guess you could split that hair if you are a truly bitter person. I BEEN HAD THOSE comments though. They are nice. They should feel good for EVERYONE. Never gotten mad at anyone I've been with for getting them. I've never felt the need to tell that someone about them to try to gloat about it,  make them pay me more attention or to try to add extra sting during a breakup though. Then again, I don't lack whatever is missing in those type of people's lives in that way so I guess I'll never get it. They are comments. People like shit and you can enjoy them. It's not that deep. 

Some folks have recently encountered me in person and LITERALLY have seen me after MONTHS of me not having to see them at all. Not talkimg about that either..

No, I 'm talking in real Life EVERY DAY LIFE. People I really interact with on some basis. Or.. or... stranger's who do see the 'light in my eyes' after they meet me and aren't strangers anymore. Those that hear the things Life tends to throw at us all in some form and say "I still see that light in your eyes.. I still see you are focused on moving forward. That's good that you haven't let things turn you bitter.. "

I'm talking about THAT KIND OF SEEN. Where someone sees your spirit. Feels you energy. Appreciates it. Doesn't become envious of it. Doesn't try their best to break you down because of their own stuff. 

It's a great feeling to be seen in that way. Sure, folks acknowledge a few things here and there and that's fine. Usually things that they want to benefit from so they are stroking my ego so to speak. I've always seen through that but admit I've allowed some people to take advantage. No more though. No more free rides. 

I'm talking about just being truly seen here. With no benefit for the other people doing the seeing. To be fully seen AND appreciated though? That makes me WANT TO DO THINGS FOR THOSE PEOPLE. On a continued basis. Not a short term one. 

Priceless. 

Is this newfound energy? Nope. It's been there. How do I know? I've had someone tried to stamp out my fire, actively while I was with them and PERMANENTLY once I wasn't. 

That's how I know it's always been there. Never quite encountered such a person that close up. I know now though. I know now. 

Never dim your light for people. Either they can stand in the brightness with you or they can get the fuck on. 

I knew that. I just forget it for a second. I'm back now though BABY!! 

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Aunties..Uncle..people who've existed since you have...

 

The post above from my Facebook says it all. This is where I am with that one. Even the ones I don't always see eye to eye with hold a special place in my heart. It just so happens that one of the ones I DO LOVE DEARLY looks to be embarking on that final straightaway soon. 

It's been a pleasure Uncle. You and my Pop Pop were the ones who showed me what kindness and patience looked like in a man. My Father cared so let's not get that all misconstrued.He often cited THESE TWO as his guide in that area. Which I thought was an awesome display of showing how to seek help from others. 

Praying for my cousins ast they wait. Praying for the same restraint I asked for during mine and anybody else's time of need. I have some STORIES about death and family and they all don't include me being in the center per say when it comes to my family and others. I know the history of how folks act very well so I'm praying for a 'peaceful' time. 

You see, I DO HAVE AN INNER CHILD. He just doesn't get to rule me ultimately. He DOES get to feel though. He's allowed that. He allows has been able to. He can't make decisions solely in my adult Life though. We have to live in the reality that is Life. 

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Being looked like as 'prey'/Nobody's perfect/rejection..

I've come to realize that I'm being looked at as 'prey' because I've 'survived' some things. Folks feel entitled to a piece of me that they often think they don't have to earn and truthfully, I've allowed that because I assume their intentions are good. This results in my giving way too much country to folks who don't even deserve to be in my fucking air space. I assume they are good people by default. 

Learned that I shouldn't do that. Probaby wouldn't be fruitful to treat them like a criminal either though. Happy medium.  

To my discredit, I've ignored some things but let me tell you, the past 6 years has fixed that. It goes against my nature to not give people chances though because it makes the phrase 'Well nobody's perfect.." seem like PURE BULLSHIT if you aren't putting it into practice. The problem is, there are people who PREY ON THAT VERY MINDSET and I can no longer afford to put that into practice as my default. I know that ALL PEOPLE aren't bad so calm down. I'm not cutting off human contacts or no crazy shit. Acting like I can't connect with others on any level. I'm not going to become 'Every (fill in the blank) is stupid and crazy Guy. Fuck all that extreme shit. 

What I will (and have been doing) is just not letting people treat me like prey. That includes my REACTIONS to things. Reacting because I want to is fine though. I will still cuss you out. I will also try to do better about getting you up outta here before that point comes. Or when it comes to that point. We need not keep in contact. We are going to practice what we preach about 'not needing each other in our lives' anymore. To the fullest. See each other in passing and keep it moving. Sucks but hey man, it's better than being miserable BY FAR. This isn't a Hallmark movie fam. 

Loving my presence, missing my friendship, loving me period or being interested enough to see if you can love me. be with me etc is fine. I get that. Knowing that it won't 'work out'/isn't going to work out and still hanging on/trying to keep me around is asinine yet people seem to love to do it until they frustrate themselves into being pissed at me. Then they want to blame my ass for it. 

"If I could just change this, this and this about him..He'd be perfect.." - Them.

No. Nope. Nah. FUCK. OUT. OF. HERE. Yet..YET.. THIS IS WHAT I'M SEEING OUT HERE. I don't even think it's about 'me' at that point. It's about the person doing it and whatever their issues are.

I don't want that in my Life. 

I'm not here trying to 'change' nobody and honestly, even if I think you might 'evolve into what I think you should', I've LONG figured out I probably better get over that because you ARE WHO YOU ARE. It's best to accept that about you but accepting doesn't mean I need to BE WITH YOU. Especially if you aren't giving me that same treatment and are ACTIVELY trying to change me. I had to get around that part myself. 😎

People have been preying on me because I've let them continue this asinine process thinking that they are me. Like an idiot. They are not. They want to change me (or whoever they are with.) while I've accepted them for who they are fully. Just like they planned it! Acceptance doesn't mean 'liking everything'. Some of those things accepted are some UGLY truths. Truths I hate revealing that I accepted. 

How do I know people are preying on me on purpose? I stopped doing it. Mofos are OFFENDED. They want to know why I won't give them the same chances I gave before. 

Nobody's perfect right? Right? Give me that same leeway I've given you are I'm not even entertaining things. I can tell now when you are because I've cut down on the chances given. I might miss a few good ones that way too but I'm thinking at this point, in the range of people I deal with, some things should just be known. If it doesn't work out, let's part ways. Which brings me to another problem I'm personally seeing... 

On my end, since I only date women, it seems that folks don't take rejection/ending of a relationship too well. They not ONLY have to be the ones who did it but they THEN NEED TO SEE THE OTHER PERSON SUFFER without them to validate things. When they don't get to end things or there is no suffering, some tend to do shit like stalk, harass and even while juggling other dicks. Shit is sad asf. Out here doing another dude dirty releasing your venom on me but can't figure out why you can't get right? Okay girl (s). Time period doesn't matter here. I've had them act like this after a simple text exchange. A date. Claiming they don't move too fast but doing the EXACT OPPOSITE. Thank goodness, I've learned my lesson and get to cutting off the newer ones sooner but the 'Ghost' that is the orgin of this behavior is still a stalking as we speak. 

I do not want this in my Life. When I move on, I move on. No matter what. I'm not stalking nobody. I'm certainly not gonna harass them. I let Life handle the rest as far as ill feelings but I even let THOSE thoughts go because I don't want that in my Life either. Hurt feelings? Cool. You loved me? I get it. You thought you COULD love me OR you wanted me but I wasn't feeling you? I understand. Truly. Welcome to reality though where we all can't get what we want. Not even me. I didn't get what I wanted too but I'm not out here acting ID Channel nutty about it. I've been REJECTED. I've had my heart broken. You don't see me harassing and stalking women. 

I want peace. You have no peace? You have no me. I ain't arguing with nobody. I'm not repeating myself anymore. I'm going to hold you to what you say too so when you get 'mad' or fed up and say some dumb shit like..

"Just leave me alone and don't contact me..' "This isn't going to work.. "... "This isn't working.." 

I'm going to keep it right on moving and do just that. I'm going to HOLD YOU TO THAT. Your access to me is cut off. I'm cutting off your water to an extent DEPENDING ON HOW YOU ACT. 

If you act ID Channel nutty, I'm cutting you the fuck off. Period. I don't have time for the cops, your new boo/wannabe suitors or your family to play save The Damsel because you told them half truths about why we don't speak.. FOH. 

You act civil then you get to stick around and we can be friends. It's really not that hard of a concept to grasp as to why you end up on whatever side of the fence that is. Acting civil gets you access to me in some capacity. No, I'm not putting up with the occasional snide comments about why our connection didn't connect either so that will get you cut the fuck off too. Let it go. 

Everyone gets treated this way by me so if you find yourself having to stalk my Tik Tok or my kid's pages, my Twitter or EVEN HERE, this is why you are on that side of things. Stop lying to yourself.... 

This was a 'Sitting In The Drafts" post but I felt the need to add a few things so it didn't qualify in my eyes.. Full transparency. 

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Capricorn Season!

I'm probably like most of you were when you were a young kid. Even thinking about being 50 years old seemed almost like a burden. That age sounded so old AND if you coupled it with how most folks looked at that age when I was say 12 or so, it wasn't what you 'aspired to be'. (I think in hindsight, we were a tad bit harsh on folks back then but whatever..). It was just not a positive thing. Period. Unless of course you wanted someone to live longer for your own selfish reasons. 

Fastforward to my birthday the other day and me hitting that mark. 

It feels NOTHING like I thought it would but everything I'd HOPED IT WOULD. Long have I given up thoughts of wanting to be 'twentysomething' or dating in that range so there was no 'remorse' in that way. Just thoughts of being grateful to be alive and move somewhat freely. That's it. I can still be somewhat active, thankfully. 

I can only take other people's word for it when it comes to how old I actually 'look'. Most are surprised. Let's just say that. 

Did I celebrate? Yeah. I did. Hell, I'll probably be 'celebrating' for awhile. Probably not in the way most of you do though. I'm not one for a crowd of people gathering for my birthday whom I don't really fool with but who are just there because they needed a place to go. I don't do clubs or hookah lounges. The strip club? Nah. 

I don't need folks stretching their pockets in this economy either. I'm good. Thank you though for those that did do something. Near and far. I appreciated it. 

I just really needed to reflect and be thankful for being here so that's what I've been doing with little celebrations here and there. Even managed to 'go out' a few, which is something I actually don't do much anymore. 

Been a lot so far @ making it to this age. We are just trying to keep it in the road right now. Truly. Made it this far though! 

I always get on here and make sure I make a point to say I'm not 'perfect' because I often worry that little phrase will pop up. Call it a traumatic response or whatever it is folks are labeling things as these days. I call it annoying so I'm putting that shit to rest. Just know if any positive thing I say leads you to AUTOMATICALLY say "You aren't perfect... You think you are special, huh?", I'm booting you SMOOTH THE FUCK up outta my space with no hesitation. Go project your bullshit elsewhere. Been working on that since September. Going pretty well but I have to do even better. Your insecurities are just that. Yours. Not mine. 

I DID treat myself (times 2 'cause..) to a musical wish. I can't wait to attend that. I didn't want that gift attached to anyone so I got it for myself. I've learned over time it's just better not to do that. Should be a good time. No matter how I go, I 'm going to enjoy it because it is something that I like. 

Fiddy. Feels good. Can't use that '4' anymore. lol I'm also not mad I'm here. Go debate ya....

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Happy New Year!

This is the time when we tell everyone what we are going to do in the upcoming year. Who is cut off. Who is allowed to stay. What 'energy' we are tolerating. Our goals and dreams. Vision boards. What the year before taught us. How powerful we are. You know, basically where and when we tell bad habits or people to kick rocks. 😂 

I don't like talking. I like action. Period. I'll continue to just 'do'. Like I've been doing. Before the New Year. 

Just action. Enjoy your New Year! 

Sorry if I dissapointed you if you were expecting some long list of things. I'm personal enough on here. You'll deal. 

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