I've come to realize that I'm being looked at as 'prey' because I've 'survived' some things. Folks feel entitled to a piece of me that they often think they don't have to earn and truthfully, I've allowed that because I assume their intentions are good. This results in my giving way too much country to folks who don't even deserve to be in my fucking air space. I assume they are good people by default.
Learned that I shouldn't do that. Probaby wouldn't be fruitful to treat them like a criminal either though. Happy medium.
To my discredit, I've ignored some things but let me tell you, the past 6 years has fixed that. It goes against my nature to not give people chances though because it makes the phrase 'Well nobody's perfect.." seem like PURE BULLSHIT if you aren't putting it into practice. The problem is, there are people who PREY ON THAT VERY MINDSET and I can no longer afford to put that into practice as my default. I know that ALL PEOPLE aren't bad so calm down. I'm not cutting off human contacts or no crazy shit. Acting like I can't connect with others on any level. I'm not going to become 'Every (fill in the blank) is stupid and crazy Guy. Fuck all that extreme shit.
What I will (and have been doing) is just not letting people treat me like prey. That includes my REACTIONS to things. Reacting because I want to is fine though. I will still cuss you out. I will also try to do better about getting you up outta here before that point comes. Or when it comes to that point. We need not keep in contact. We are going to practice what we preach about 'not needing each other in our lives' anymore. To the fullest. See each other in passing and keep it moving. Sucks but hey man, it's better than being miserable BY FAR. This isn't a Hallmark movie fam.
Loving my presence, missing my friendship, loving me period or being interested enough to see if you can love me. be with me etc is fine. I get that. Knowing that it won't 'work out'/isn't going to work out and still hanging on/trying to keep me around is asinine yet people seem to love to do it until they frustrate themselves into being pissed at me. Then they want to blame my ass for it.
"If I could just change this, this and this about him..He'd be perfect.." - Them.
No. Nope. Nah. FUCK. OUT. OF. HERE. Yet..YET.. THIS IS WHAT I'M SEEING OUT HERE. I don't even think it's about 'me' at that point. It's about the person doing it and whatever their issues are.
I don't want that in my Life.
I'm not here trying to 'change' nobody and honestly, even if I think you might 'evolve into what I think you should', I've LONG figured out I probably better get over that because you ARE WHO YOU ARE. It's best to accept that about you but accepting doesn't mean I need to BE WITH YOU. Especially if you aren't giving me that same treatment and are ACTIVELY trying to change me. I had to get around that part myself. 😎
People have been preying on me because I've let them continue this asinine process thinking that they are me. Like an idiot. They are not. They want to change me (or whoever they are with.) while I've accepted them for who they are fully. Just like they planned it! Acceptance doesn't mean 'liking everything'. Some of those things accepted are some UGLY truths. Truths I hate revealing that I accepted.
How do I know people are preying on me on purpose? I stopped doing it. Mofos are OFFENDED. They want to know why I won't give them the same chances I gave before.
Nobody's perfect right? Right? Give me that same leeway I've given you are I'm not even entertaining things. I can tell now when you are because I've cut down on the chances given. I might miss a few good ones that way too but I'm thinking at this point, in the range of people I deal with, some things should just be known. If it doesn't work out, let's part ways. Which brings me to another problem I'm personally seeing...
On my end, since I only date women, it seems that folks don't take rejection/ending of a relationship too well. They not ONLY have to be the ones who did it but they THEN NEED TO SEE THE OTHER PERSON SUFFER without them to validate things. When they don't get to end things or there is no suffering, some tend to do shit like stalk, harass and even while juggling other dicks. Shit is sad asf. Out here doing another dude dirty releasing your venom on me but can't figure out why you can't get right? Okay girl (s). Time period doesn't matter here. I've had them act like this after a simple text exchange. A date. Claiming they don't move too fast but doing the EXACT OPPOSITE. Thank goodness, I've learned my lesson and get to cutting off the newer ones sooner but the 'Ghost' that is the orgin of this behavior is still a stalking as we speak.
I do not want this in my Life. When I move on, I move on. No matter what. I'm not stalking nobody. I'm certainly not gonna harass them. I let Life handle the rest as far as ill feelings but I even let THOSE thoughts go because I don't want that in my Life either. Hurt feelings? Cool. You loved me? I get it. You thought you COULD love me OR you wanted me but I wasn't feeling you? I understand. Truly. Welcome to reality though where we all can't get what we want. Not even me. I didn't get what I wanted too but I'm not out here acting ID Channel nutty about it. I've been REJECTED. I've had my heart broken. You don't see me harassing and stalking women.
I want peace. You have no peace? You have no me. I ain't arguing with nobody. I'm not repeating myself anymore. I'm going to hold you to what you say too so when you get 'mad' or fed up and say some dumb shit like..
"Just leave me alone and don't contact me..' "This isn't going to work.. "... "This isn't working.."
I'm going to keep it right on moving and do just that. I'm going to HOLD YOU TO THAT. Your access to me is cut off. I'm cutting off your water to an extent DEPENDING ON HOW YOU ACT.
If you act ID Channel nutty, I'm cutting you the fuck off. Period. I don't have time for the cops, your new boo/wannabe suitors or your family to play save The Damsel because you told them half truths about why we don't speak.. FOH.
You act civil then you get to stick around and we can be friends. It's really not that hard of a concept to grasp as to why you end up on whatever side of the fence that is. Acting civil gets you access to me in some capacity. No, I'm not putting up with the occasional snide comments about why our connection didn't connect either so that will get you cut the fuck off too. Let it go.
Everyone gets treated this way by me so if you find yourself having to stalk my Tik Tok or my kid's pages, my Twitter or EVEN HERE, this is why you are on that side of things. Stop lying to yourself....
This was a 'Sitting In The Drafts" post but I felt the need to add a few things so it didn't qualify in my eyes.. Full transparency.
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