Chapter 6..

Well, it looks like this book is going to end on  Chapter 6... Ironically, around the same time of year that it torridly started. I don't think this is an accident by any means. 

It probably should have ended on Chapter 3 but only God truly knows why it got this far. I can think of tons of memes/biblical verses and such that would 'explain' all of that away but I suspect the answer is pretty simple.  I've written tons about the dissolution, including on the days it was 'wrapping up' and a few days after but haven't published it yet. Still mulling that over. I didn't call off the writing of the book but I got tons of 'feedback' later on in the days after from the person who did call it off. I thought this was a book that I'd be writing until....I wanted to stop writing the book long ago at one point but I got accused of being a quitter and guilted about seeing my marriage through death by giving up on this book..Only to have the co-author, a known quitter twice over, stop writing the book ultimately FOR THE SAME REASONS I SAID. Reasons that are chronicled on this VERY BLOG AND PUBLISHED. Probably my fault on that one, huh? Maybe, but marriages END for different reasons so assuming someone is twice removed from one and is all the way at fault is probably not fair either. There I go being human and showing empathy again. Something I apparently lack... I guess I know both sides now very well. In any event, I had decided that I was going to see the book out. Can't now though. It happens. 

For a few reasons, I don't want to get all the way into the details but this isn't the first time the co-authors have taken this route. I'm just a little tired of the cycle. It's so draining. Emotional outbursts and things that should be reserved for strangers in the street led to a not so nice response to one party. Fake outrage. Other parties involved. 

As usual during this time, I'm going forward. I take threats of moving forward seriously and I assume other parties are involved when such processes happen. It is the common practice in this book. I JUST don't have the emotional capacity to get around the removal of other people's energy (That I'm not bringing to the situation.) in what I consider a sacred space this time. I just don't. Tired of the technical rule being used when we all know it's still a foul if you are just going to pick right back up. My rule is if you have to 'explain it, then downplay it, then make grandiose assurances that it was nothing', then you know probably shouldn't have been doing it. Especially if you don't have the greatest history of 'forgiving and forgetting things' (made up or otherwise) yourself. 

It's not my style to involve others in my mess until I'm done. It does take me LESS time to be done with a situation though personally due to my past. Perhaps I'm not alone in that but I'm also not the one who reaches back out to rekindle so there's that. I don't think you are 'over someone' when you reach back out to rekindle (Reaching back around through being blocked on accounts/phones..) but I'm finding out I must live in some alternative universe or something. I also wouldn't ask for help from someone I'm disconnected with days before breaking up with them either but hey... Everyone is different. Co-Author is apparently different in that way. 

Anyhow, I KNOW my blog is checked (Thursday September 30th, 7:50 PM.). It has a TRACKER. I know people's IP addresses. They are LABELED. Coming here is just that. You COMING here. It's where I type my thoughts and anyone checking it is COMING TO ME.. (aka reaching out..). Just know that I know that. The words are therapy for me. Of course, it has another meaning but that meaning has two sides to it as well. Being honest sometimes doesn't bode well for possibilities in the future. Oh and "Hey.. to you down there in Ashburn, Virginia..), I see you too. I know who you are too. You are good money though. You are just checking in on your family. Real family. 

The dissolution at this time on Chapter 6 reaffirms that for me... I was honest. It got thrown in my face a lot. I was honest HERE on this blog. Again, thrown all in my face. 

Anyhow, that's all I want to (or probably should say) for now. I already detailed my side in some unpublished posts in real time so that I don't 'misremember' my intentions at the time and at the appropriate time, I'll probably post them just to pull the bandaid off of this book. Or, I just might let that shit be man. 

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Kids, Life, Update...

 I try to remember to start these off with the disclaimer that I write here a lot. I don't PUBLISH a lot though so the writings are in chronological order for me but YOU, the reader, may be missing information. I will try to remember that as I refer to things that may or may not be published here... It isn't fiction. It is real life. I leave other's names out though although they DEFINITELY know it is them I am referring to. It is up to them as to whether or not they'd like to 'out themselves'. Obviously, if people know both of us, it's not hard to figure out who is who.... 

Okay, now that I've gotten that out of the way... 

Life, as you all know, stops for nobody and for me it just keeps going. I just welcomed a GRAND DAUGHTER. I'll let that sink in for you. A beautiful granddaughter who came in with her Virgo energy on August 30th. 

This is a different experience. Another life changing moment. (Hold that thought..) It's all the joy of having a kid, without actually being the parent and not being the IMMEDIATE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR HER. It's pretty cool. It's not my timing choice but then again NEITHER WAS MY FIRST CHILD for my parents. Different situations but the point is, it's not my call. I raised my daughter to the age of 18 and she is now grown. I will do my part to help and she should be fine. All plans are in place and her Life plan is still intact. It just includes two people now. :) The baby is a doll baby. Everything is 'handled'. Life will do what Life does in this situation. Parenting time, with college (one more year left) and a FULL RIDE still. It could be worse, yanno? 

Joyous times indeed on that front. Trying to enjoy the moments when I can because you can't replicate them. At all. 

Oldest daughter is doing her thing in the DMV. She's good. Full grown. Married. Doing Life. 

Youngest daughter is doing exactly what was expected of her when she used to dribble that ball around the house as a toddler. Cannot believe I will have a freshman in high school, AGAIN but for the LAST TIME. She was just 5 wasn't she? School is actually FUN FOR HER AGAIN. She's enjoying exploratory at her new high school & is finding her way. Her Honors Academy years are paying off as far as her studies because she's used to working at a certain pace. It's almost like her basketball and school are mirroring each other. Years of previous work are showing up big time in this setting. We'll see how far she goes. It's up to her. The sky is truly the limit for that kid and I think there's a lightbulb going off in her head. Still more work to do though. 

I think this is the part where we speak about their mother, looking down, smiling, guiding, etc if you believe in that sort of thing. (Not saying I don't. I know people who don't. That's your business.). Still would be nice to have her here to see it but this is the reality of the situation. She is not. Life will keep on doing what Life does. Go forward. Since I actually KNEW HER, I can say this. This is how she thought it would go. Probably all the way down to.... 

Me? See this post. It's applies RIGHT NOW because that's where THAT IS AT. Some said, they'd have come back too after reading that. I don't know why. Same results. Every time. No matter who tells the story. 

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My Life Friday to Friday: August 27 through Sept. 3rd.... recap Granddaughter.. First Day of High School...Chapter 6 closing??

Editor's note: This is a series (My Life Friday to Friday:) that I write that I NORMALLY don't publish or REMIX as I have MUCH bigger plans for it. It is important to me though, to release this piece that was written in real time because it was a super important event I want to share NOW. I usually recap things Friday to Friday. Why? My situation for the last 6 years hinged on Friday to Friday changes. Every Friday, the script would flip and an adjustment would need to be made to accomodate my partner, her needs and MELD THEM WITH MY NEEDS. A partner who thought she was NEVER THOUGHT of as I went through my day to day might I add but I digress.. I probably won't change that now because I'm used to it and it is a nice way to keep the information overload down to a minimum. I'm just now releasing this so you may not have seen it previously on the blog. 

Friday August 27th: I had to meet my future grandchild's Father, his mother and probably a few more family members for the first time. As previously stated, the situation is fluid and it is Life. The baby is coming and I'm not going to be a party to bringing a child into a negative situation. I've also gotta take care of G's car situation. (Chronicled previously.) Again, another situation that, no matter how it came about, IT NEEDS HANDLING and I'm going to handle my part of it because. Partner. I'd hope (and believe she would.)  she'd do the same for me but I can't operate on her not. I can only operate the way I OPERATE so I'm going to do it. I scheduled to help G first because then her anxiety would be quelled & the deed would be done. I had already factored in the costs and was determined that this was going to get handled NO MATTER WHAT. Got the car where it needed to be and handled my end of things to help. G was clearly still distraught about her situation and rightfully so but seemingly grateful. Hopefully my plan to help her out, once she decides how she's going to handle her end of things, is accepted and can alleviate some of that if not flat out solve it. There's a little tension due to my voicing my opinion of what happened, as previously chronicled as well, but I'm hoping that my ACTIONS are helpful in showing my true support. 

As it turns out, the Father and Mom were a little delayed and didn't get a chance to meet up with us so I am glad that I handled my business with G and my youngest child. 

About late Friday night, I start to hear the middle child (pregnant one) moan every 10 minutes or so. It was subtle at first. Then a little more louder. Then it was while she was sleeping. I started checking the clock but ultimately fell asleep as it had been a LONG DAY. 

August 28th: 

I was awakened by these same moans around 6 am right before my alarm went off for the gym. They were about 9 minutes apart. I head off to the gym, take the Honda to get appraised and come back. The money is more than right for the Honda and I either flip it, get a newer whip with less miles for the middle AND EVENTUALLY THE YOUNGEST to whip around in and help G that way. My original plan of just getting a newer whip for the two girls and working something out with G was still in play too. Now I have TWO SOLUTIONS to the problem but again, it's up to G on how she wants to handle HER END of the problem. That's not my place to say. I'm just here to help without sinking my own boat here. I can't provide shelter and help without a place to provide it at if you dig what I'm saying? 

I get home. At this point, the girls are huddled up in the front room and the youngest is using a timer. They whisper a little bit but I can hear them. "They are getting closer... but I still think they are Braxton-Hicks contractions.." one of them said. 

I'm still counting the spaces between contractions. Remember, I have THREE GIRLS. I know what a birth/contractions/hospital waits are like. No use in running to the ER, DURING COVID and sitting there only to be told 'Go back home..". Unless she's bleeding really badly. Speaking of bleeding, her plug came out in the middle of Saturday night..Also, remember from the previous posts, she's thinking she's due in December at the earliest. I told her she's hanging too low in July and she'd probably not make it to damn September.... I didn't say that PUBLICLY (To the few people that knew because not a lot did..) but I definitely said it to HER. In her mind and hell her DOCTOR'S mind, this is DEFINITELY not supposed to be happening. Anyone who looked at her really good should have known though that..Maybe not down to the DAY but... Also remember, she was due to get an ultrasound that Tuesday. A due date was coming & all would have been known then. 

August 29th: I wake up to her in pain again but this time she's about 6 and half minutes apart.

I started canceling my normal Sunday morning basketball plans as well as my plans to look at this dope 2015 Honda Pilot that I was possibly going to use to help solve the car issues/potential practicality needs for each women in my Life because THAT'S HOW I DO IT. I take care of everyone. They may not like the order but everyone gets what they need. My umbrella is pretty big and can take on a lot. Owner said we could meet later on in the coming week so that was cool. I knew my Sunday was about to be messy. I had planned to slip to see G too at some point between her busy schedule but obviously, that got scrapped too. 

"Did you call the doctor?" - Me

"He's closed on Sundays.."- Her 

"He's not the owner of a Chik Fil A... He delivers babies 24/7. Wait for the beep. There will be a prompt for his answering service. They'll tell him what you say and he'll advise you from there. I'm telling you now though to grab your overnight bag." 

"Okay, I was pre planning all that stuff so it's packed and everything already.." - Her

I'll give you a minute. PLEASE LAUGH. I hollered WHEN IT HAPPENED. Trust me. She chuckled too. She was a good sport about it. 

The girl was nesting! All weekend, she was running around, probably making her contract even more, getting things prepared for a baby that she thought was coming in 2- 3 months. Her body knew though and bypassed that part of her brain and told her to GET READY. This baby is coming NOW. Hair was up in a protective style and all of that. 

We get to ER and they send her immediately to the Women's Center here on the campus of the hospital and surprise surprise.. they admit her!  

I tell her, "You might as well cancel that Tuesday appointment because they are about to run every test on you. Including the ultrasound. Probably won't know the sex though because... stubborn baby..." 

They run the test. She's shocked by how far she's along but I'm not. I also reassure her that she can now do this naturally as they had previously told her they would have to take the baby. Why? They thought she had a different due date so of course they would say that. With the ultrasound came clarity. 

I'm going to skip over parts of the birth here because that's another mini story itself. I'll give you the basics. 

1:53 AM, SPPC came into the World! Beautiful baby. 

I was there. The father was there. I stayed for a good bit and then let the parents have their time. I'm a GRANDFATHER. Not the Father so I left. I'm also the Father to two other girls. One is a minor. She NEEDS ME so off I went to tend to her. (She was in the building during the birth..) 

Told C what was happening during all of this and she said 'Call if you need me.." That's just the facts of it. That's what was said and that's that. 

August 30th - September 1st: 

Now, while I knew she wasn't going to make it to December, I WAS NOT PREPARED TO HAVE HER HERE NOW fully. I had told my partner it was happening but I wasn't sure if SHE was going to stick around honestly. I HOPED she would but I would have understood if she said she wasn't. I get it. I also know I wouldn't have gotten that same understanding if it was reversed. I could feel her stance forming as the days grew closer. Again, I'm not dumb nor not understanding. Pain is pain but Life is Life ya know? 

Lots of things were in place but things like CAR SEATS were not one of them. Bassinets were though, as well as diapers, clothes, wipes, medication, etc. Still, I had to do a lot of running around and be around to accept the gifts that were also being given. 

Added bonus? My teenager started her FIRST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL. Yes, she was in a Honors Academy on a high school campus but this is at a new school and it's officially high school. A very big, big, BIG deal. I had to handle her. I wasn't the only one this was happening to. G had that too so LIFE WAS LIFING. You hear me? For EVERYONE. Youngest had a great, albeit not action packed first day. It's the first day of school so you know how that goes mostly. 

Contact with G was minimal on both sides because she had started her new position in earnest during this time, her kids needed her and she has a LIFE OF HER OWN THAT' PRETTY DAMN BUSY. Big things for her after a few rough years. (Not disclosing that in this post.) It was great to see her get back to a sense of normalcy for her. It just happened to coincide with the birth of my granddaughter and another unfortunate incident in her Life. 

September 1st, middle child and baby were discharged. First night home with a baby in the house in 14 years! Remember, I'm GRANDFATHER but I'm also the only man in the house. She KNOWS my voice. She responds to my voice. I'm also the vet so when I handle her, it's different. I'm like Alexa only I can demonstrate hands on so that's what I do. I don't DO TOTALLY for my daughter nor would she have it be like that. She's a NATURAL. Then again, most women are. It's the men who have to 'learn' mostly. She just needs guidance and I can give it so I do. First night wasn't even that bad honestly. Nor have they been for the most part. A bad night here or there. I do provide relief at times and of course I take POP POP TIME. 

Didn't get to contact G until the end of the day due to hectic scheduling. Literally running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Pick this up. Pick my youngest kid up due to the busing shortage. (They said she'd get home at 6 pm AFTER A 3 PM DISMISSAL! No way she's sitting for 3 hours. Basketball training/school stuff that evening.).  No reach out either. Contact was 'strained' to say the least when it did happen. (It's a whole other post. Not here.. Not now..) Big storm that night. Both in real life and in other places. I was never mad because this is how Life goes. We are busy people. That sentiment was not shared.. 

Sept 2nd-3rd:

Kid has off that Friday so it's like a regular summer day. I take Mom and baby to the doctor's since Mom isn't cleared to drive YET. We do sneak in a drive with Mom and Baby though after she gets cleared by the doctor. It is HER child after all and she should be able to handle things sans me. She did well. Everyone was safe. Finally go to see the Pilot. It looks and drives amazing. Have to hold off on that deal because.. 

 ....Minimal contact with G due to our schedules and radio silence from one end.. Precursor of things to come??

Mom euphoria is still here but so is the understanding that this is real. This is no baby doll. This is all her mostly. We can get into the Dad's part later..He's around. This is LIFE THOUGH people so you know how this might go. It's something that I came to grips with 23 years ago when I had my oldest. Anyone has a kid, it's coming to my house. It comes to my house, the responsibility is automatically going to fall this way. No matter how much the Dad is involved, the home house is going to handle that baby's business regardless. That's just how this goes. To what EXTENT is up for debate, depending on the mother/her abilities/use of resources etc but this is how this goes. Not going to chase anyone. In any situation. This isn't any different. His responsibilities will be handled though. One way or the other. Good kid btw so this is not dissing him. This is Life though. That's it. 

That's all I have for now. I may add more in as I update the next My Life: Friday To Friday.....

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