If you have NEVER read one of my lil diatribes, let me warn you. I don't 'do fairy tale' endings. A lot of the shit I am going to say, even some of you my age haven't even 'seen' yet. They are lunar eclipses to some of you. You've seen pictures. You've heard stories. You just never seen the shit. It is okay. Hopefully, SOME OF IT YOU NEVER WILL. I really mean that. I want y'all living as good of a Life as you can. Just know, shit ain't sweet for everyone.
This is one of those topics that is ALWAYS up for discussion on the social networksphere. I see at least five to six tweets/Facebook statues/etc per hour on it and mostly they all say the same thing.
DON'T TRUST ANYONE WHO HAS A CODE/PASSWORD/ETC on their phone,email,whatever that you don't have yourself if you are involved with them.
This sounds SO GOOD IN THEORY. No access. Must be hiding something. The end. Right?
SO this is the end of the result right? Post is over and we can go on about our merry way right? Yeah...you know better don't you? (Chuckles) It is not. Not by a long shot Jack.
Let me tell you self righteous mofos something.... First though...
Let me go on ahead and get the OBVIOUS OUT OF THE WAY. Yes, in CERTAIN CASES, there are those that use these codes/passwords/whatever to hide WHATEVER ILLICIT ACTIVITIES THEY ARE PARTAKING IN. I'm not an idiot. I know that. The problem is with the assumption that ALL FOLKS WHO DO THIS ARE DOING SO TO COVER UP THEIR ACTIVITY. That's one problem. All are not. Some folks have their phone around OTHER FOLKS they don't trust not named you THAT THEY DON'T WANT IN THEIR BUSINESS. Some folks actually...wait for it...go PLACES AND HAVE LOST THEIR PHONES..and thus pertinent information because they didn't have their shit LOCKED UP. So maybe...JUST MAYBE..they are in the habit of locking their phone for THOSE REASONS. I know..that does NOT make you feel better about it...And I know why....SOME OF YOU are carrying some baggage with you...
So my first question when someone BLURTS THAT INDIGNANT PHRASE OUT IS:
Why do you need a password to a phone/computer/etc that is not yours?
I don't trust him/her? - The answer that most folks pussy foot around and FINALLY RELENT TO or just flat out don't admit.
I could probably end the post here huh? I mean you don't 'trust' them then you should leave right? Yeah..I could. It wouldn't be fair to me though. I won't be as absolute with it as those of you who champion the 'code access' thing are being about that. I'm not built like that. I know there are tons of reasons why folks can't just 'leave' that all of you 'perfect' people will frown upon. Another post...another time for that. For now though, lets deal with the fact you want in your significant others device for several reasons and lack of trust is one of them.
Yeah you can 'argue' that their actions have 'gotten you to this point' but the truth of the matter is you choose to stay and deal with them. So since you choose to stay....you have some fault in this too. Deny it all you want. It is okay. It doesn't change it though...lol I know...I know..they are 'making you look through their stuff..' Stop. They aren't making you do shit. You are battling with yourself on that one dawg and it is okay. You aren't alone. Folks succumb to that battle all of the time.
Reason #1
All the bullshit you have/had on your device/in your email/etc aka YOUR OWN DIRT.
The emails from that nigga you know you had no interest long term in but who gave you that ego stroke. Told you were pretty. Bought you lunch and shit... met you at the park a couple of times and..it wasn't like you wanted to keep him.. . You remember him right?
The girl you strung along who you KNEW liked you but you wanted them Cool Greys and the money was tight at home? Plus the head was right and ....ain't like you kissed her..Yeah her...
Wonder what your 'SO' would think about that?
Oh you deleted it so you are good huh? They have somebody now (or did then) so they will never tell huh?
Naw B. That shit happened. It isn't all good 'cause NOW YOU WANT IN ON HIS EMAIL TO SEE WHAT THE FUCK HE HAS BEEN UP TO. You can't trust him/her for shit 'cause you see how 'blissful'* he/she are while you know THE SHIT YOU'VE DONE.
You actually went to that park with your man two weeks later or came home to a box of those 'Cool Greys' from him/her. So your ego has you on that 'It won't be me out this bitch'...and you start to snooping so you don't get caught out there. HOPING YOU FIND something. Wishing you could find something so you can feel justified in the bullshit you have already partaken in. Where do you think that 'That's why while you were out getting your dick sucked, I was fucking your best friend' shit comes from? Yeah... Don't act innocent now..lol
Sidenote:
Some of you also quickly come to the realization that all the 'harmless' flirting, texting and shit you do on your phones/computers/etc JUST MIGHT BE HAPPENING on the other side so you get a little curious. So off you go, wanting to snoop. Shame on you for that shit. Like you are the only one out here who gets to 'have fun but know your limits'. FOH. Party pooping ass cats.. Or maybe you don't know your limits and you are afraid that....nevermind..
Reason #2
Some of you are just paranoid as fuck. Point blank. You've seen too many fucking movies or your friends who pick bullshit mates get fucked over so you automatically assume it is gonna happen. Some of you are snooping AND THE PERSON HASN'T DONE SHIT. Yet here you are...Snooping. Trying to find something. Anything. Shameful.
I'm all for realistic approaches by the way but if you are gonna be 'realistic', take that shit the FULL MILE. @ saying you snoop because you know people 'cheat' and 'get weak'.
You aren't going anywhere if you 'expect' him/her' to do whatever it is you think you are gonna find on that phone/computer/email so what exactly the fuck are you looking for? Oh 'so you can know'? Come off that shit. If you THINK YOU NEED TO LOOK THEN THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES ARE THE CONTENTS OF HIS/HERPASSWORD LOCKED iPhone.
Reason # 3
It isn't him/her that I don't trust, it is everyone else.
Stop. The. Bullshit. First of all, why are you with someone who you think can't 'decipher' signals from the opposite (or same if that is y'alls flavor) sex? Really? You expect me to believe that shit? I almost don't want to come out and say what I am about to but if THAT IS YOUR DEFENSE, it is my duty.
He/she actually functions just fine without you and if THEY DO NOT, then it might be time for either them to start doing so or for you to find someone else. Straight like that. You don't have to 'monitor' their conversations like they are five and if you FEEL LIKE YOU DO, you are just as much to blame for not 'helping' them with their 'issues'. Whatever you deem them to be.
Second of all..go back up top. If that was you up there with the 'dirt' then you don't get to use this one without getting called on your bullshit. Even if it was you in your 'previous' relationship. You should have gotten over ALL OF YOUR ISSUES before now and if you aren't, that is for YOU TO WORK OUT.
What kinda shit is that? @ monitoring conversations. FOH. Out of curiosity though, I wonder if he/she would feel the need to 'monitor' the conversation you have with the 'lunch person' who makes sure you get 'the special', even when they are all out? Or the person at the grocery store who 'makes sure your every whim' is taken care of that you smile sweetly at and play nice with? Or your work 'wife'/'husband'. You know, the one you 'told him/her' about on that 'in plain sight' bullshit? Yeah him/her? Again.... Miss me all the way with the bullshit...
I guess my issue with folks being so demanding about all this 'access' are the ones who do shit I KNOW for a fact their SO wouldn't approve of if they got wind of it.... That and the fact that it isn't 'yours'. If it is 'ours', that is different. We aren't talking about that though. We are talking about things that are individual possessions. That is what makes it MINE. The fact that I control it. I know a lot of you don't like that ideal though.
Let me ask some of you folks who 'feel the need to have passwords and shit' something. These are things I don't see you doing.
Why not suggest sharing a Twitter? As in, you both have the same account SOLELY. Not one for both of you and then you have your own. Just one account. Think Bennifer..TomKat.....shit like that.
Sharing a phone NUMBER? Not a phone plan..THE SAME FUCKING NUMBER..Everyone gets the same calls. You could just simply tell each other the numbers of the folks you have calling and take it from there. Since you want total access and shit. Or maybe one phone gets text and the other gets the calls..lol I don't know..work that shit out. Lets see how you like your 'access' then..
Sharing the same email? I mean, they are emails right? Since there is no reason for 'multiple emails' 'cause you know folks with multiple emails cheat and shit, just get ONE BIG EMAIL. Or maybe two that you both have access and use with big storage capabilities. I know someone who did this. Well, it started off that way. I suspect that folks looked at it and discovered really quick, this is pretty silly. Alas, I still want to see it done for those who are so hell bent on having 'access'. So go on ahead and erase that email you have had for 10 years and get a joint email! (Sarcasm)
Oh and if you are 'DOWN WITH IT' AND IN A RELATIONSHIP, please suggest these things and let me see the results. I would love to see just how many of you not only 'would' but HAVE DONE SO. I mean since I know some of you would say 'I would' just to try to shut me up. Let me see the results. I'm sure SOMEONE will do it. Not sure how happy they would be but yeah...
Yeah that shit SOUNDS ABSURD doesn't it? Well, that's exactly how you want things though. You want access which means for all intents and purposes, you might as well SHARE AN ACCOUNT. I've seen y'all clown folks who share a Facebook so don't act like that shit would 'be okay' What's wrong Mr./Mrs. It Is About Trust? You want trust right? Lets do that though. Lets be 'transparent' then. Yeah...I didn't think so..
Shout out to all of you who 'tip toe up to the line' of wrong and think that because you didn't 'put your whole body' over it that you have 'been good'. You 'haven't'. The jig is up. You thought it, you relayed that you would and by proxy, you might as well have just went ahead and did it. @ the feelings being involved.
Snooping sometimes nets results. Again, I'm not an idiot. Most of the time though...nothing. Most folks who ARE DOING SHIT aren't doing shit in that fashion. Not anyone with any skill. You aren't picking up the regular phone and getting numbers off of it. You aren't getting primary and secondary emails and intercepting 'lusty emails and shit' Nope. Probably aren't even getting Twitter passwords and picking up FULL ON CONVERSATIONS there either. Not with anyone who has any experience. You are more than likely going to end up doing shit like this....
You are gonna find something you think is 'suspect'. You are gonna start asking questions and eventually do some dumb shit and REALLY FUCK SOME SHIT UP. I've seen folks decide to call 'That number that only pops up when he/she is on the way home from work' thinking they had someone 'busted'.
Next thing you know, they are on the phone with someone's boss, asking 'Who the fuck is this and why the fuck are you calling XYZ" getting folks at the very least laughed at their place of employment and at worst FIRED for having some woman/man call their phone pissing THEIR WOMAN/MAN off over some bullshit. At that point, all the 'I'm sorry' in the World can't take that back'. Laugh all you want but I've been the person who got that call. Those calls have costs folks business and more 'cause it makes me think "What kind of people do you DEAL with who are going through your phone and COLD CALLING FOLKS?"
Am I asking you to be a fool? No. You see 'Hey come over and fuck me..." in a tagline OF COURSE YOU SHOULD BE SNAPPING I suppose. Nobody is saying that shit. Then again, that scenario is not how it USUALLY goes down.
Out here fucking folks money and rep looking like an idiot in the process.
Who am I fooling...lets give our passwords out...Shit...why stop there...(SARCASM LIKE A MOFO)
You ever heard the saying 'To be a fly on the wall'? I'm sure you have..... That is what you want isn't it? @ this access...Limited fly on the wall access...anytime you damm well please..Just because...Man listen here....
If you ACTUALLY GOT TO HEAR/SEE/WITNESS every little 'act' that your SO, I don't care how sweet/innocent/faithful/whatever encountered, you'd give yourself a heart attack. You'd NEVER be in a relationship. Trust me. The folks that know this don't ask for passwords*** and the like 'cause they already know how that ends. You end up looking like a jealous lunatic and sabotaging shit.
I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA! Lets plant a bug on each other and listen in to each other's conversations while the other one isn't around! Doesn't that sound like fun? C'mon it will be fun. You can censor yourself. I can censor myself..Or better still, you can HEAR EVERYTHING I WOULD SAY THAT YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW I WOULD SAY, GET YOUR FEELINGS HURT AND BE PISSED OFF AT ME WHEN YOU FINALLY DO SEE ME.
Oh wait....I know...we can INSTALL CAMERAS ON OURSELVES OR TURN THE PHONE THAT YOU WANT ACCESS TO INTO A VIRTUAL SPY CAMERA AND YOU CAN SEE AND HEAR WHAT I AM SAYING!! I mean why stop at just 'phone access'??? Doesn't that sound fun? You can get one too! Then we can, once again, censor ourselves, not say what we mean....I mean we can behave accordingly and no one will ever get into any trouble. Right? Right...-_-
Bet your ass won't be going to the store alone as long as you are with him/her after that shit...lmao
You'd be a nervous wreck or locked the fuck up...one or the other if we had things the way some of you want it.
I know folks don't want to get hurt. I know folks want to be 'diligent'. That's fine. I'm all for that. What I am not all for is indicting folks for a simple 'pass code'. Nope. Not unless you are willing to then have 'all joint everything', that is double talk in my book. @ folks acting like a password is the devil. In addition, if you REALLY feel like you need 'someone's password' to feel 'secure', as MUCH AS IT PAINS ME TO SAY IT, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T BE WITH THEM or anyone else or at the very least, scale back your feelings the best way you know how. **** I suggest you fall back a tad in some capacity if you find yourself that bothered about a password. Shit will come out. It always does and if you can't wait for shit to do so but you know there is some 'shit', take your chances and do what you gotta do. Just make sure you are right.
*They may know. They may not know. Who knows. Some folks have the capacity to take that shit. Clearly, you aren't one of them though. Hence you looking through their shit. It is always funny to me when folks go looking for shit and then they find out they were snooped on too. @ when running up on someone with 'ammo' backfires. Happy snooping...
***unless it is to an account with ACTUAL INFORMATION LIKE BILLS AND SHIT LIKE THAT ONE MIGHT REALLY NEED ACCESS TO. That is DIFFERENT THOUGH. That is not the same as asking for 'social reasons'.
**** I don't expect you kiddies to understand that last one. That sounds like some 'unicorn' shit to you probably. You'd probably just 'leave'. If you can, do so. LOL I just offer up this one phrase..."People fall in and out of love and BACK IN LOVE again, over the course of their relationship/marriage". Now where do you suppose that saying came from young scrap? You have 'all the answers' THOUGH so I'll let you sit in your 'thinking chair' and figure it out. :) I'm sure you will come up with your 'It won't be me.." mantra.. You don't know how much I truly hope it isn't you. "Cause you are gonna get yourself royally fucked up, hot grits style, if you tout that to someone and you find yourself in that very situation after you done ran your mouth about 'what you would never do'...
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