Friday, July 1, 2011

(Words) Wanting your Cake and being able to eat it too: Women posting pictures on the Net then complaining...

Courtesy of Mew Tew!


 BLOGGER NOTE: I have 'updated this post' Hopefully, I caught all the grammatical errors this time. I added some things so if you 'read it before', it might be worth the 're-read'. Kinda updated it to the current social media platforms if you will.

So I guess I have to be the bad guy. It isn't me ruining your rep. It is you. You take/post the pictures.

Not me. You say 'Follow me', reblog my photos, Titty Tuesday, Thong Thursday, 'Look at me..LOOK AT ME..", "This is me on a regular day.." "My hair is not done but LOOK AT HOW CUTE I AM ANYWAY...'.  Not me.

Some of you gals need to make up your minds outchea. You want to pick and choose how you want to get the attention? FOH.  You ASKED FOR THIS SHIT. There, I said it. No one else wants to but I will. You asked for it. Do you deserve to just get out and out shitted on? NO and I don't shit on ANYONE I put up here. That doesn't mean that you don't hold some accountability for things. Actually most of it. You are taking the pictures.You ARE POSTING THE PICTURES UP.

Folks that act like sites like these are 'ruining' their rep need to look in the mirror to some extent if THEY ARE OUT HERE PUTTING 400 OR SO PICTURES OF THEMSELVES ON THE SAME INTERNET. From that LiveJournal shit to the 'new' LiveJournal as I call it called Tumblr. No one is hacking into your computer. No one is stealing your laptop.You are out here putting ALL OF THESE PICTURES of yourself out here on your own sites and they float from there. 

I shouldn't say folks because quite honestly, as much as I don't like doing this, it is the females. Yes, I said it. I am talking to ya'll on this one. Well, the ones that do what I am about to describe. I am talking to you for two reasons..

A. I don't post pictures up of dudes in that manner so I wouldn't be coming from that angle...

B. I have NEVER heard a dude complain about his picture being put up anywhere on the Net unless it was done in a ridiculing fashion. NEVER. If a dude takes a picture of himself in a flattering fashion and females wanna gawk, he is ELATED AND TELLS EVERYONE. He took the pictures for that response much like a female only HE OWNS UP TO THAT. If that response isn't what he wants, he disses those that diss him, tells 'em 'You liked it 'cause you 'featured me' and leaves it at that.  That I have seen happen.

The ladies? Eh...Not so much. For some reason, beyond the fact that it isn't a crime to get a camera and take all the flicks you want of yourself and do as you please, the ladies seem to 'forget' the 'other side of the coin' with this one. No, I am NOT TALKING ABOUT THE LADIES THAT TAKE PICTURES FOR THEIR MAN AT THE TIME AND HE LEAKS 'EM. Or even for some 'random' cat and he leaks them. That is a WHOLE OTHER DISCUSSION AND IS NOT TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY. I am talking about the girls that LOVE TO TAKE PICTURES and use sites like the now deserted MySpace or Tumblr (Instagram!) to do it. Or put up their 'TwitPics' for the World to see but want to get 'upset' when someone puts it on their domain. Even/especially when the folks who put it up on their sites GIVE THEM CREDIT, direct traffic towards them and are HELPING their cause. I'm not talking slander here. I am talking good old fashion 'Look at her doing thing.." promotion. It is baffling to me. 

Again, it isn't taking the pictures that bothers me. BELIEVE ME. We ALL TAKE PICTURES. It isn't even them having a page. Have at it. It is YOUR PAGE. It is the fact that folks think that the 'minute' a picture leaves THEIR PAGE that anymore 'damage' is being done to them than they have already caused themselves. Please. You caused the initial damage. Just because your 'followers' are 'yucking it up with you' and saying they like it doesn't mean they aren't out there using it for evil. @ the image.TRUST ME. I've had MANY OF YOUR 'FOLLOWERS' give me shit that I KNOW you didn't intend for 'public consumption' AFTER THEY HAVE GOTTEN TO KNOW YOU BY COMPLIMENTING YOU ON THE PICTURES YOU DO HAVE FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION. Believe G, if I wanted TO BE GRIMY OUT HERE, I could be on that Oscar the Grouch. Straight Trash Can Life. Filthy and grimy. Again, it isn't ME.. (Or sites like mine...)

Do you gals NOT REALIZE THAT MTV SPONSORS SHIT like Tumblr? That you can google your Tumblr name and the WHOLE WORLD CAN COME TO YOUR SHIT? As in, if you USE YOUR GOVERNMENT NAME, your lil nickname or whatever, it comes up? Attached to your pictures? This shit isn't a secret. Put a tracker on your Tumblr if you don't believe me. What EXACTLY do you dumb asses think is happening when someone 'reblogs' your photo? Do you think that if there is 'no note' or a reblog that no one is looking at it? That no one copied and pasted it? Wroooooooooonnnnnnnnng- Charlie Murphy. 

You fucking idiot, ONCE YOU PUT IT ON A SITE LIKE THAT, EVEN WITH YOUR LIL WATERMARK ON IT, people can and will take it and spread the word if they think it looks nice. Sometimes notifying you. Sometimes not. All at their own discretion and without your say or control. Do you NOT realize that? Are you THAT DAMM STUPID? If you don't want folks potentially doing things with your photo EVEN POSITIVELY THEN THE BEST THING FOR YOU TO DO IS NOT TO POST THEM ON THE INTERNET YOURSELF.

Folks come to Tumblr/blog ALL THE TIME that don't 'follow me' or don't live ANYWHERE NEAR ME. Some folks come to my Tumblr who DO FOLLOW ME AND DON'T KNOW IT IS MINE! I mean I know TONS OF FOLKS BUT NOT AS MANY THAT COME TO MY BLOG OR TUMBLR. All 'cause the typed in the name associated (that I associated with it on PURPOSE). People can get at you via 5th person.  I get the funny feeling that some of you still think that you can actually 'hide' on TUMBLR, do your little freak shit with YOUR FACE IN THE PICTURES and no one will know the wiser. Smarten up Nas.

I am not coming down on your for taking the pictures themselves though. You think you are the only 'thrill seeker' in the World? You think you are the only one with 'self esteem issues' who needs a boost? With a stash of photos that will put that Amber Rose shit to shame OR WITH A STASH OF REGULAR PICTURES THAT COULD FILL A WHOLE YEAR'S WORTH OF MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? Nope. The difference is though that MOST FOLKS HAVE ENOUGH SENSE NOT TO PUT THE SHIT ON THE INTERNET 'cause they know that the other bullshit that comes with it isn't worth the hassle. Your peoples think you are pretty? COOL. Let them look at you in real life. You have self esteem issues? If you are going to use the Internet to boost it you better understand that you can't CONTROL THIS SHIT in the manner you are trying to do. Especially if IT ISN'T A ONE TIME THING and you are over there updating pictures DAILY yourself. Yeah...yeah..yeah..its your life. It is. Don't blame the rest of the World for YOUR CHOICES THOUGH when you do bone headed shit like put a shitload of pictures up on a public site and someone decides to give you the 'shine you claim you are looking for'.

You know until I actually DID THIS SHIT here, I didn't understand FULLY why someone would diss someone for asking to have their picture removed. I mean, IT IS THEIR PICTURE right? I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND DISSING THEM if it is clear that the person didn't know the picture was taken, the picture was given to someone else and they forwarded it and shit got outta hand, etc, etc ,etc. However, if you are one of these GALS OUT HERE with a Tumblr account or a Twitter out here taking 500 SHOTS OF YOURSELF on a non private page, while understand they are your pictures, what do you REALLY THINK YOU ARE GAINING BY TELLING FOLKS NOT PUT UP YOUR PICTURES? In particular when they attach YOUR NAME TO THE POST AND MAKE SURE THAT YOU KNOW THAT THEY PUT YOUR PICTURES UP? I mean, maybe your initial reaction to someone 'taking your pictures' (Yet they made sure you would see that the pictures were up on their site AND they put your name to it.) is to start taking heads off. Okay cool. I would hope though, for as much as many of you claim you aren't just 'ass and titties' that you could SEE THAT YOU ARE PRETTY MUCH DOING JUST AS MUCH DAMAGE TO YOUR REPUTATION YOURSELF by even creating your own little site. That is if you see being put on 'any other website other than your own' as 'damage'. If you don't see it as damage put it bluntly....

You are about the stupidest (insert your favorite derogatory word here) walking the face of the Earth then... If you want the publicity, if you want the fame, if you want folks to notice you then WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT? I mean if you want the attention of a 'particular' young man then I might suggest you send HIM THE PICTURES of you in that state. Not plaster them all over the Net. Not 'reblog them' for all of your followers to see over and over again. Oh, you want him to see you as 'desirable', is that it? That's why you want that? Well tough shit then if the folks that you are 'using' to get what you want use you back. (Shrugs) That's how the World works. Welcome to it Princess.

Oh and for those of you who do want the fame but want to 'do it big' this is for you. Playboy isn't walking through that door cotdammit. Smooth Magazine isn't coming to your town looking for you. Elle SURELY isn't going to come snatch your 5'4 ass up when you look like ALL THE REST OF THE GIRLS WITH MAC MAKEUP ON. There is only ONE Onika MAN. (According to some, one too many but I digress...) If you want the fame, you gotta take what comes with it.

If you don't want the fame then the question begs. JUST WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING AROUND POSTING PICTURES OF YOURSELF ON THE NET HALF ASS NAKED FOR? Don't you have a mirror? Is that boyfriend thatYOU DON'T WANT TO FIND ALL OF YOUR PICTURES not giving you enough attention? Is he not enough? 

Oh wait, you do it 'for yourself' don't you? Man get ALL THE WAY THE FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT. That is the biggest crock of bullshit known to man that ya'll (Yes, I said ya'll...) come at people with when you are doing something that you know has a positive and negative effect. 

If you don't want people taking your pictures off your little sites but you still want to take pictures AND HAVE EVERYONE SEE YOU THEN YOU ARE GONNA HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE OR THREE. Sure you can take pictures of yourself ALL YOU WANT. You need to understand though that once you click that 'send' button on your lil Macbook or whatever you are out here sending that on, you are running the risk of someone is gonna see it. Period. It doesn't make it ANY BETTER IF THEY SEE IT ON YOUR SITE or somewhere like here so quit trying to justify 'where they may see it'. 

Furthermore, if your name is attached to it and you are ASHAMED OF THE SHIT YOU ARE DOING, then don't do it. Stop posting pictures. Clearly, you shouldn't be doing it for WHATEVER REASON.  Some of you out here don't know whether you even want to 'claim' the pictures you took but you 'want credit' at the same time. Doesn't work like that. 

For all of you 'feminists' reading this: 

Before you come 'knocking' on my door, understand that I am not saying folks should be treated bad. You need to re-read what I wrote up there. I just told the truth. There is good and bad in posting up pictures of yourself on the Internet and that 'straddling the fence' with the shit is JUST AS DANGEROUS than full out doing it. Probably even more so because of the mixed message. I think you should be able to understand that doing things in this fashion is 'mismanagement' of their 'voice' no? If you can't understand that, oh well. Just like dudes have the right to do WHATEVER THEY WANT but they have to deal with the consequences you ladies do too. Sorry. This isn't street hollering or getting grabbed in the club. Looking and touching are TWO DIFFERENT THINGS. Especially in this case when the person 'offended' PUT THE MATERIAL UP TO BE SEEN.

Damm, I didn't want to come out and say that shit. Clearly though, I needed to. I don't expect change either. I know that somewhere, some young lady is posting pictures of herself RIGHT NOW FOR THE ATTENTION and that some time later on it will spiral out of control and get bigger than she intended for it to and she will take it out on the wrong person.

Hopefully ONE YOUNG (or older lady 'cause they are out here in these Internet streets making these choices too. I see 'em..) LADY WILL READ THIS AND SAY. "Not me! I won't post any more pictures up unless that is my INTENT and unless I am FULLY PREPARED for what comes with doing that..."


What I am saying is probably what ANY RESPONSIBLE ADULT should have told either you as a youth. Understand the consequences and actions of the things that you do. Don't play both sides of the fence with an issue and play dumb and coy. When you put TONS OF PICTURES OF YOURSELF UP ON THE NET scantily clad, scream out 'follow me', or caption your pictures with words that YOU KNOW ARE GOING TO EVOKE A RESPONSE THAT WILL BOOST YOUR EGO, understand the attention you are going to get. Period. You aren't special to the point that you are exempt from it and if you think that you are then you MIGHT NOT WANT TO POST THE PICTURES. Period.

I thought I was done with this post but I am not...My bad.

The 'underaged- 21 girls': 

If you are out here posting pictures of yourself trying to get attention yet, getting mad at 'certain dudes' looking at your pictures, dealing with stalkers and don't know how to handle ALL THAT COMES WITH GETTING ATTENTION FROM BEING ATTRACTIVE IT means one thing and one thing only. 

YOU SHOULDN'T BE OUT HERE POSTING PICTURES. If you are underage, you LEGALLY shouldn't be out here posting pictures. Period. There is a reason it is illegal. It is was deemed that someone of your age COULDN'T HANDLE the consequences of decisions with good judgment. This is the SHIT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT. You can't handle it. Stop doing it. The stories that get back to me (via retweets and reblogs) are INSANE.

I block EVERY ONE YA'LL underage joints too. Every time. I am the cat that is running around reporting you on EVERY SITE I interact on and if I even THINK that you are underage, I will preemptively block you from Twitter, Facebook and from viewing the blog/Tumblr. Period. I don't want to see YOU just as much as you don't 'supposedly' want me to see you. DO US BOTH A FAVOR. Stop posting them fucking pictures. You are a child but clearly no one was stern enough with you. I will do that for you. Fuck off. I don't want no parts of your tart ass even VISUALLY. If you get pissed reading this and want no parts of me guess what? THAT'S WHAT I WANT. FUCK OFF. If you are reading this on ANY OF MY MEDIA SITES and are underage, UNFOLLOW ME RIGHT NOW. (If you are a dude and you are mad about this statement, NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO SPEAK UP. Especially if you are one of those cats that like to 'clown'. Don't be the next contestant on that Summer Jam Screen....- Jay-Z. I see a lot of you like To Catch A Predator. Don't make me say why....)

If you are that 'legal' age broad (whatever the legal age is where you live/or in the 'too cute stage'.........ya know... 22-27ish..) who seems to think you can 'pick and choose' who looks at your pictures or who can 'compliment', get over yourself. What is your REAL LIFE LIKE? 

Are you the dumb broad who shows up' in 'stripper shoes' and the tight dress' to the 'Grown Folks party' then leaves mad 'cause everyone without a date hit on you? 

Are you THAT GIRL? The girl who is still out here showing her bra strap and panty lines but can't figure out why folks are staring at you? Talking about 'Its just a bra strap or panties...Never seen 'em before?" Are you that girl?

 Let me find out you are that gal who wants all the 'folks who aren't worthy of looking at you' to buy you the bar and then be dismissive of them when it comes to giving them a 'shot' Let me find out. Bitch please. You might wanna take in consideration that it isn't them. It is you.. Don't really want much to do with you either if you are on that wish washy shit as far as the blog is concerned. The World is not your 'simp'. You better stop 'reading your own press'.

Go learn to wipe your ass good before you come talking about what you 'know' or who shouldn't be looking at you. 99% of you have peaked lookwise and DON'T EVEN KNOW IT. One Twinkie and a child away from being 'extra normal' out this bitch. In particular if you don't take care of yourself and are out here in these streets coasting on 'natural' attributes.  Take the compliments while you can. They are gonna stop soon and only be said when a cat is trying to be 'the next one to..' Take it from the cat who is 'old enough to be know. I've seen some of your mothers. Your clock is TICKING. Tick. Tick. Motherfucking tick.

Oh now before I go, ('Cause I am assuming someone will forward this to their folks and it will be their first time here...) let me address the 'comeback' to all that I am saying.

The amount of woman on this VERY BLOG: 

Yes there are woman ALL OVER THIS BLOG. All over it. Will be today. Will be tomorrow. The difference though? The ones that 'remain' on here ( I pull all the ones who fit the bill I just described in this post off ASAP..) is that they have 'decided' that's how they get down. They have embraced it. They are OF LEGAL AGE. Their spouse/SO knows of what they do and either likes it or doesn't or they are single and have no one to answer to. More importantly though, they know HOW TO HANDLE THE ATTENTION. They don't put up with 'negative' attention either. Nope. They handle that just fine too. They have decided what to they want to do and are doing it to the fullest. 

Some ARE NOT in it for that big check. 

Some take the ego boost, go on with their REGULAR LIVES and keep it moving. Its called being a grown woman. 

Some are actually in that last age bracket I posted up too so if anyone in that bracket (legal- 23ish) thinks I mean to say you can't handle your business you are WRONG. I merely spoke on those in that age bracket who can't. 

The ladies on the blog KNOW THEY ARE HERE. This shit isn't some 'secret' 'cause everything about here is out in the open. From the contact info for them to the contact info for me. I won't get 'talkative' 'cause merely because you asked me to pull your pictures from the blog if you do so. 

I will get 'talkative' if EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO ON YOUR OWN SITES screams the total opposite of what you 'claim you are trying to do' and you basically accuse me (or truthfully anyone else who runs anything like this in a nice way) of trying to do you harm by putting pictures up that you have already put up yourself.  

As I alluded to up top, I can't do any more harm to you than you are doing to yourself when you post those pictures initially. In addition, JUST HOW DO YOU THINK FOLKS ARE GOING TO GET TO YOUR SITE? Telepathy? I mean if you TELL THE EXISTING FANS YOU HAVE ABOUT YOUR 'SITE' THAT IS ALL FINE AND DANDY BUT IT ALSO WON'T DO BUT SO MUCH GOOD. So ANY PRESS from a source outside of you would DRIVE MORE TRAFFIC TO YOU. They would then put your name in Google. If you have a site, BOOM, it comes up. Then they go to it. Trust me, JUST BECAUSE someone comes to your SITE doesn't mean they stop looking for information on you. I know. I run one. Folks come here looking for folks and their exit link is usually one that indicates that their search on the person, subject, whatever isn't done. 

Example: If I put up say 5 candids of Yaris Nya Santana, the person looks at what I have put up...searches MY SITE FOR MORE FLICKS and then exits out out of the site BACK TO GOOGLE by typing in 'Candid pictures of Yaris Nya Santana' or some shit like that. See how that works? Clearly some of you don't know how this works 'cause THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT. Folks searching for your name. Hell that is how 75% of the folks reach MY SITE. Name searches. 

In other words sweetheart, I'm here to help. Not hurt. Do I get something out of it? Yep. The flip to that is site's like mine are at NO COST TO YOU minus the 'content'. Content you've already been paid for to give. Now I know you have your 'web designer' and your 'marketing team' telling you that you want 'all the information in one place'. That's not necessarily true. You could have a BEAUTIFUL site but if there is only one or two outlets that are 'putting your name out there', it may take you A LONG TIME to reach your goal, IF YOU EVEN REACH IT. How will people know about you? How will they know that you even exist? Think of it as 'free cross promotion'. 

You don't know how many times I've put a young lady up here, SEEN THE IP ADDRESSES OF THE DUDES THAT OWN THE MAGAZINES COME TO MY SITE and the next thing you know, THEY ARE FEATURED IN THE MAGAZINE. Yeah, I see ya'll. I have you marked. That digital magazine in Philly that runs a 'Dynasty'? They come here. That 'Khalifa'? They come here too. Mixed Magazine? You see the video below in the corner....(With reason right They all have come here scouting to see who is 'hot on the Internet' right now. AS THEY SHOULD. That's how it works. I'm not mad. I know the game. I put someone else who then in turn PUTS ME ON. That's how people KEEP COMING BACK TO THE SITE. Then they may be able to see THE OTHER CONTENT. I have to get them here first though. Somehow. This is how. Your mentality should be the same if you are taking these pictures to 'gain something from it' and you need to understand that your Twitter (or now your Instagram), Tumblr or whatever NEW MEDIA OUTLET isn't the only way to do it. Hell, I don't know why half of you even HAVE A SITE 'cause the same thing ALWAYS seems to happen. You find out you are paying someone to maintain a site to put up information that you could have put up FOR FREE if you are hot enough in these streets. Then the site quietly goes away. 'Cause lets face it, most of you aren't going to be in your forums interacting with your fans or taking COMPLETELY NUDE EXCLUSIVES like that which is what it takes to keep a site LIKE THAT GOING. Little video updates and four pictures of your latest photo shoot isn't going to cover the cost of you having the site. It just isn't. Merchandise? Maybe. If you finesse it right. @ having that there. So that's where I (or sites like these) come into play. So use us. It would behoove you too.

 Lets clear up this 'stealing pictures thing':

I am not 'stealing' the pictures, as stealing would imply you get no credit, you get no notification, or that I claim them as mine and I make no way of you contacting me to have them removed. Period. That would be the definition of 'stealing them'. If I wanted to 'take them', I DAMM SURE WOULDN'T BE FEEDING THE BLOG TO TWITTER OR FACEBOOK WITH YOUR NAMES IN 'EM. I wouldn't want you to see the posts so why would I LET YOU KNOW I DID THEM? I know sites that DO STEAL PICTURES and they make sure that while they give your name, you aren't DIRECTLY CONTACTED. Hell, I know some that don't even GIVE YOUR NAME. Just have you up there as 'their nameless talent that they have discovered'. Now THAT I COULD SEE YOU BEING UPSET ABOUT. That is the DEFINITION OF STEALING AND NO CREDIT GIVEN. Watermarking up your shit with THEIR LOGO and not giving your name? upset about THAT SHIT. Not what I am doing over here....

I see that some of you HAVE had some really bad experiences with the Net. I understand that. I truly do. Hence why I made the information available to contact me. You might wanna do better yourself though. @ how you are on here acting. How about you just stop posting pictures then if it is that bad? How hard would that be? Think about it..