First of all, hello. I can't imagine some of you are still 'subscribed' to this blog so I will probably be writing to myself for quite a long time. This is okay. I'm a little rusty anyway. I have so many thoughts to get out that even trying to find a starting place was difficult. I probably need the time and grace period.
Let me address the 'missing' posts things first before we get started if you aren't new. I have them saved on a hard drive. A hard drive I can't quite access at the moment but I will put them back up at some point when I can do access it. I think the vast majority of the posts are important. There are some that are not and I won't post them again. My choice.
On or about October 2nd 2015, this 'voice' was taken from me. Rather, I relinquished it in the name of 'finding love'. I was told that the pain I talked about here made it seem like I hadn't 'moved on' and that the ghost of Melissa was looming large.That the blog was a big a contributor to that along with my friends and family's insistence on speaking about her. So, against my better judgment, I quietly stopped blogging.
I lost my voice.
It's back now. Never giving that up to anyone again for anyone. The next time I'm quiet it will be because I just chose to be.
The blog will take whatever shape it does like it always did. Some posts about whatever is bothering me. Or what I like. Maybe a car here and there. It has been become uber popular to write what is now known as 'think pieces' so I'm not sure if I'll do that. Especially if it is a topic I already covered before. It will serve as a place to let my thoughts out. You can choose to read it or not. To say I don't care if you read it is false. I'd prefer you do. Nobody writes this stuff and publishes it for nothing after all. Are there specific people I want to read it? Not really. I can just send the posts to those people if that's what I choose to do. What I don't care about is agreeing or disagreeing. What I do care about is getting how I feel out so that it's not cluttered up in my head like it has been for the last four years.
Like a sauna, this is where I released things out of my pores and sweat them out...
Am I gonna talk about Melissa/suicide/depression again? Yes. When it comes out, it will come out. Not a moment sooner either. Will I write about my now two adult kids and one pre teen? I'm sure I will. It may be a little more guarded than before but I'm sure they will get a mention of two. I'm mainly going to talk about about me.
Good ole, Capricorn me.
