Courting Olivia...Women's Wants vs. Needs

Keeping in theme...I could say these things but maybe if it comes from another source the message will be heard.

Her blog is here:

http://courtingolivia.wordpress.com/2009/09/26/womens-wants-vs-needs/

Okay ladies,

Every once in a while you need to hear- from another woman, and not your man- that you’ve got some work to do in the “get real” category. Us womenfolk can sometimes confuse our wants for our needs, so I’m going to try and sort a few of these out- hopefully it’ll make you think and you’ll be able to take it a step further in your own life and identify things that you think you want vs things you probably aren’t aware you need. Doing so, I think, will make you a better woman- it’ll also make you better in your relationship. So here goes:

3. Poetry vs “Real Talk” Many women think they want their man to “talk pretty” to them- say deep, meaningful and poetic things in a way that no other man has before, in a way that makes our hearts flutter, our minds become befuddled and that place between our thighs throb a little bit. Of course it’s nice to hear lovely words from our men- but in reality, we aren’t going to hear that stuff all the time, and we don’t want to, because it’s not realistic. What we as women need is for men to keep it real and honest- that’s it. That’s not to say we want our feelings hurt, of course not, there is a place for tact in all of this- but we need that real talk from our men more than anything. The truth of the matter is we don’t give men enough credit when the do “keep it real” because we’re sensitive beings, our feelings often hurt easily and that causes us to rebuke whatever has been said to us- but that doesn’t help keep the lines of communication between the sexes open either.

So we have to find that balance, and as women, it’s incumbent upon us to do that extra work when our man is giving it to us until we scream his name and speak in tongues real. We have to listen; men are talking, we’re just selective in what we’re allowing ourselves to hear.

2. Know Your Role I can feel some of you getting riled up over this one, but take a breath and be open. I’m not saying you have to be barefoot and pregnant and in the kitchen all the time, unless of course you want to be- but women do have a role to play when in a relationship- especially with a brotha. We can empower our men or we can make them want to choke the shit outta us belittle them with our biting sarcasm.

Women these days are too hard, I’ll just say it. Men don’t want a woman that acts like a dude, or talks like one for that matter. I certainly am guilty of letting the f-bomb fly, but around my man I only use it when I’m bent over the counter begging him to fuck me harder I’ve burnt dinner.

We are nurturers ladies. Try nurturing your man and see how his appreciation for you grows in leaps and bounds.

1. Making love- or making toes curl Again, ladies, you all have some work to do in this area. It goes hand in hand with number 3 on this list. Too many women think about sex in terms of soap opera love scenes; candles, satin sheets, tender words to your ear before he takes you in his arms and makes love to you all night. *yawn* Let’s get real.

There is a time and place for making love. I truly believe that while men are fully capable of it, they can’t do it all the time- it takes a build up of emotion for a man to make love to a woman- but he can fuck her any time, any day.

Ladies, you need to sharpen your fucking skills. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting this so that you can increase his sexual satisfaction, I’m suggesting it so you can increase your sexual satisfaction. If what you do on the counter on the dryer bent over the couch in the back of the car on the kitchen floor in the shower in bed you learned from the bible- you’re failing your man and yourself.

If all you know is missionary, you’re wasting a perfectly good sex life.

If you don’t give head you should be ashamed of yourself.

If you won’t let him talk dirty to you- best believe he’s feeling cheated out of a full sexual experience.

If sex is controlled- you’re just not doing it right. The best sex happens when you let go of everything rational and grab onto pleasure- follow the pleasure. Only do what feels good.

If you need help, then about 45 minutes before your man comes home, have three shots of whiskey a nice glass of wine and entice yourself. When he walks through the door, pounce.

Role play, dress up, speak with an accent, take control, make sex fun, and make it nasty. It’s ironic, but if you want your man to experience orgasmic pleasure (which is not the same as cumming) then you get on that dick and fuck his brains out- he’ll forget his name instantly and he will look at you like you’re a mythical goddess forever.


I have something in the chamber on this topic but stumbled upon this via one of my followers on Twitter. I tell you, it works in mysterious ways. @ Twitter and Facebook.