Open Letter time....To those who don't 'get' online bullying or bullying in general....

Now first of all, I would like to address the incident that sparked the debate THIS TIME...(There have been plenty of others but some of us are JUST NOW PAYING ATTENTION so I will work with you...). I personally think it is sad all the way around. It is probably the reason teens...no let me take that back..IT IS ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS teens shouldn't be having sex. It comes with a lot. Buyer's remorse. Forced entry. Whichever side of this you are on. (I am torn as a father of girls and as a man. I can see them both honestly.) Teens having sex (I had it...) is a pretty serious thing. In this case, it got to court and on TV. If you are an adult judging this, you HAVE TO REMEMBER these are CHILDREN. You saying what you would or wouldn't do 'now' is pretty irrelevant in that I would hope you wouldn't. You are grown. Even if you DID though, I wouldn't stand in judgment of you. Things happen.

BLOGGER'S NOTE: An addition to this post....This was my INITIAL reaction to this subject. Long before I heard it discussed on the radio show. Just my reaction to bullying based on the reactions to another incident....

http://thewarehous.blogspot.com/2010/10/bullyingits-about-time-they-actually.html

Desensitized people....technology...disaster

I find it funny (not really) that we have become so desensitized to things. Seeing people's court documents. Watching people cheat and get busted...Same sex tapes...Hetro- tapes that we were never supposed to see. And this is adults I am speaking on too.  @ desensitized. That is bad enough. Ya'll passing around dead body pictures, fight tapes and all types of shit for 'entertainment' purposes is bad enough and pretty childish. (Yeah I said it..It is juvenile as fuck.) Now you want kids to be what you are too in a World that these same types of CHILDISH things are being done BY CHILDREN too? Really? Word? So you are really gonna tell your kid to 'suck it' and just walk away huh?

Look, I know it sounds good to say 'If my son/daughter ever came home and said.....' that you would give a smack and turn a deaf ear but the reality of that is you can't do that and call yourself a good parent. I don't care if that is what your Momma & Dad did or not. Sure there is tough love ( I got sent BACK OUTSIDE ONE TIME to finish a fight...So I know..) but along with that (which most of you got but you are omitting out your fables on your childhood..) has to come some type of empathy and a ear to listen to from YOU AS THE PARENT after the ordeal. From one of you at least. 'Cause if they can't talk to you they may turn to the wrong ear. Or they may grow up and be one of these angry lil fuckers who are running around terrorizing the neighborhood now that you jokingly but unknowingly are correct in saying...'He/She wasn't hugged (listened) as a child....'. It will be all fun and games until they torment your kid and take it too far. Or grows up and thinks that messing with people is fun and you have to deal with them.

We all know kids are VERY CRUEL and insensitive at times already. Now they are armed with camera phones and a virtual playground that most of you don't know THE HALF ABOUT..Some of you JUST GOT ON THE INTERNET heavy in the past two years. Shits been around since '94 and things get HECTIC on there quick. There are folks that take it 'offline' in a hurry and start popping up outside of 'fantasyland' real quick. Posting up pics of where you live. Cutting off cable and silly shit like that to vandalizing and destroying property to yes, showing up and killing folks. Taking your credit and all of that 'cause your dumb ass used your mother's name or your favorite team as your password. So it is a lil more than 'someone calling you ugly' in the breezeway at school. The dogpile mentality of the Internet among all age groups is IN FULL EFFECT. As a kid, that is tough to deal with. Lone sheep, pack of wolves and voila...we have a situation.







The whole 'I just never got bullied'/ I saw it though/I don't understand how people could get bullied.

You know how you sound? You sound like the white people who say that while they have SEEN a black person get pulled out of a car and get beat up that they can't understand how we as black people generally are at least LEERY of the cops..Seen Black Men strung up from trees but still don't 'get' how an older black man could feel 'uncomfortable' around certain folks in rural (and not so rural shoutout to Gray's Ferry) parts of the country. That's how you sound. They still make you? -Chris Rock

Hell you mean you don't understand it? Just say what you really want to..Some of you don't understand 'cause you were the 'bully'. Lets just keep it funky. Whether you were the one who cracked the jokes, did the physical beating or the the threatening or whatever. Don't cover shit with sugar and tell me it is chocolate though...@ that whole 'I don't understand..' I can see it...Just say it.

And if you DO FEEL THIS WAY, don't ever run up on me talking about the injustices done upon you by someone in power( coughs..the cops/the man/the like). You gotta buy all the way into the 'bully' system if you don't have any empathy for those getting bullied. Ya'll  kill me. When you are getting 'bullied', it is an OUTRAGE..When you are doing the bullying or standing by watching it be done to others you want them to 'suck it up'...Nigga/cracka  please...lol

I do understand the 'need' for one to defend themselves properly either via jokes, physical retaliation to physical acts done to them/etc/etc/etc but this whole defeated attitude of 'that is just the way it is' is pretty fucking pathetic. What if our ancestors had said 'That's just the way it is..." Glad ya'll fools weren't around then. I would still be picking cotton to this day..Thank God for those who said 'It doesn't have to be this way..'
 
How can I compare bullying to THAT? Shit, that is the ULTIMATE FORM of bullying if I ever saw it. Intimidation. Mental & physical punishment/enslavement and humiliation. Preying on the weak.....Boasting about it as if they should either 'live with it or die' without sympathy either way. Sense of entitlement. Frowned upon if you were sympathetic to the 'weak's' plight in life.....Sound familiar?? Is it the SAME? No. But it is pretty fucked up...Sorry..it is.

Again, these are CHILDREN. They are labeled that way for a reason. They develop at different rates. Some CAN TAKE IT. Some can't. It is really that simple. They have people like you, YES YOU, telling them that their life is over once X,Y or Z happens to them. Then you turn RIGHT BACK AROUND and tell 'em to 'suck it up though'...Mixed message much?

They have adults like you, YES YOU, scoffing at the notion that bullying is not serious so they CAN'T TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT. Some of you are so selfish sometimes. @ your line of thinking. Please DON'T HAVE KIDS or change your outlook if you do. 'Cause I don't want to have to deal with someone being raised with this backwards ass mentality of not being able to emote your feelings in your time of need. No matter what that need is. Running around all pent up with anger and shit 'cause they are reliving their childhood horror OVER AND OVER in their head. Committing felonies just because they have become so sick and violent that even when they have made it THEY CAN'T STOP acting out. Can't enjoy it because they never sought the help due to a community full of 'we don't even acknowledge that' (one of the many things we don't acknowledge) only to have to get on the 'next' Oprah's couch to reveal the true meaning of their turmoil. If they don't star in their own death on WorldStar or play out their dirty laundry on Maury and the like first.

Everyone is not you. Everyone didn't have what you have (or didn't have). Isn't that what ya'll stay SCREAMING to the Bush's and Palin's of the World? Isn't it? Yet here you go..acting all high and mighty 'cause you happen to have some sort of mental fortitude ON THIS SUBJECT. Please. Matter of fact, I will just go ahead and say it. If SOME OF YOU had someone telling you a little early on in life to 'stop being a bully' (of your OWN FUCKING PEOPLE MIGHT I ADD 'cause you surely weren't running up on white folks with that nonsense.) and focus on some other things you wouldn't be where you are at today. @ those of you who are quick to 'defend' bullying like it is 'okay'. Same ones that want me to feel bad when the 'bigger bully' (the cops) picks on you. Yeah, I went there...Its true and hopefully that will help you 'understand' more...That is why I am a lil 'agitated' by the fact that you are so dismissive of this. It DOES affect our community. Only difference is, we don't kill ourselves (yet)...we kill each other. Do you 'get it' now? All these deaths and shootings aren't just over drugs man. Cats are hustling but this isn't New Jack City. Some of it is straight bullying and pride. You aren't going to 'punk' me in the party and make me look bad. So you gots to die...@ the mentality. I know you have got to know of at least one instance where this was the case. Probably more. It is a form of bullying.  I think some of you forgot that. So it IS affecting us. At least these other kids are only taking their only lives in most cases. Our kids take the bully lives, innocent kids, people and all of that.

So to all you Tough Tonys/Tonias out there...you comedians who 'danced' around or fired back at folks or even folks like ME who were big enough to make one say "Let me not make him too mad...He might fuck me up.." don't get on your horse about this. One day you may have a kid...One day you may tell him or her your 'guts and glory' and STILL get that phone call. Like many a parent has who thought 'it was just what kids do and he/she needs to suck it/or it is of no concern....' @ bullying got when they heard their kid took his/her own life. How you gonna act then? You gonna still be singing that "I don't respect it 'cause...' song? About your own kid? You REALLY think I believe that? You don't have to front for me man. That shit isn't important to me. Tell me you would REALLY DO THAT IN REGARDS TO YOUR OWN KID..Not a fake kid, a REAL KID. Your flesh and blood. I'll wait......

As a parent (in particular as a parent of ethnic children) , I know I would want to do whatever it was to help my child not become a stat. 'Cause all the 'That's a shame' and 'sorry for your loss' or for some of you that 'I can't feel bad for you 'cause I don't believe in....' isn't going to DO SHIT FOR ME WHEN MY KID IS GONE. And I would feel like shit if I didn't step in and do something. I would feel way worse than I EVER WOULD  if you ever wanted to go on about who fucked who, who wasn't popular, who sold drugs and didn't, who busts their gun and who doesn't, who didn't get into VIP or whatever other bullshit ya'll mofos are always worried about. THAT WOULD BE TRUE humiliation to me. Knowing I failed my child as a parent for not taking this bullying thing seriously.  So yeah while it never happened to me as a kid (adult? See 'the cops'...) I can still 'understand' it. Something that seems to afflict my people far more than it should...@ not understanding something just because it didn't happen TO YOU or for you in a certain way and making excuses for when IT DOES HAPPEN or why you shouldn't have to understand it. Wanna be loud, ignorant and wrong just because it was done to you. Do better people.


Now if after reading all of this 'you still don't get it', that's OKAY. Just step aside and let us clean up the mess. Like you been doing....