Until we stop doing this, we will continue down the destructive path we are on. Confusing fear with respect.

Both words could probably be 'spun' to mean what you want them to mean at the end of the day. In some fantasy land world (the movies), it is presented one way. Reality is a bit different though. This is just my opinion on how the words should interpreted and used. Along with the ill effects of some people using the combination of the two to do their bidding. Your thoughts may vary. I am okay with that. I just see this as a problem and when the words to get 'twisted together', I view that as a cop out used to excuse bad behavior and poor choices. That's all.

Respect- Esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability.

Fear- a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

reverential awe.


This post is pretty much a continuation of many of the other 'grown folk talk' type posts I have made. If you are unfamiliar with them, use the label. You will see them amongst the other 'videos' of other people talking about real life issues and such. @ my posts. You can tell when it is me do to the structure. Trust me.

I honestly believe that this small little 'misunderstanding'/melding of these two words have caused more harm than most drug epidemics, recessions and other ills that face us in the 'urban' community. I say 'urban' because to qualify it with just one race itself would do it an injustice. Now there are a whole lot of people who do not live by this code of 'Respect via fear'. Unfortunately, there are JUST AS MANY people who do try to make that their calling card and we give them that power EVERYDAY.

I think we all know a person like the one that I am about to describe. Runs around making 'idle' threats to anyone in earshot over stupid things like "Someone not liking the same musical artist as they do..." and the like. Sometimes to a whole room for NO DAMM REASON WHATSOEVER. Always running around competing for the "Nigga Street Heavyweight Championship belt' fighting people over basically NOTHING of substance. Especially in the presence of people who they perceive as a threat. (Even though that person is USUALLY not even thinking about them). You know the type. Might be the nicest person in the World when you catch them alone but OUT IN PUBLIC? They have twenty bodies and are still walking the streets. Or at least the threat of them having the bodies is ALWAYS BOUGHT UP BY THEM. All because they want to be 'respected'. Here is the kicker. Nobody 'respects' them. At least not the people they want so badly to do it. Yeah, a couple of their 'peers' respect them but that is not who they are showing out for. They want their name to ring bells so it is not just for that hand full of people. It is bigger than that for them. All because somewhere along the line, no one actually took the time to show them what 'true respect' is.

Let me break down the difference between the two for those of you who are reading this and still maintaining, 'That's what it means to me!" Not here to change your mind or anything but in theory, you are 'making your own shit up'. Which is fine but don't expect everyone else who is sticking to script to fall in line with your line of thinking. Also, don't be surprised by the amount of 'resistance' you encounter when you are trying to operate one way and the rest of the free World is on a whole other step.


Fear is toxic.
Respect is nurturing.
Fear destroys self-confidence. Respect builds it.
Fear is life-threatening. Respect is life-enhancing.
Fear is forced. Respect is earned.
Fear is learned. Respect is earned.


It is just that simple. When you get caught up in the 'I need respect so I do it by way of fear' as your motto for running through LIFE, the chances of shit ending well are SLIM TO NONE. Period. If you don't understand that then I give up trying to make you understand to an extent. Oh, I am going to keep talking though...Don't get it twisted. I am just saying there is not much more I can say to YOU.

I guess the kicker for me is that MOST OF THE PEOPLE see this type of behavior in a whole other capacity. From SOME COPS. Maybe if I put it to you that way, it will make more sense to you. Countless times I have seen some cops use 'fear' as respect as it 'seems to be' the only way to get through to some people. Those same people will cry 'That is not true..' yet they run around meting out that same mentality AGAINST THEIR OWN PEOPLE! Talk about your viscous cycle!

You say "Well, there you go! They learned it from watching them....".

Sorry Captain Give an Excuse for bad behavior, I am not buying that shit. Maybe for the 10-16ish year old set as they are not grown. Not for a cat that has been on this Earth longer than that. They KNOW that is not the right mentality to have. They are just enabled to do it 'cause we pass the buck on who responsibility and allow the images (some in this very blog) to dictate what we do as adults. We need to take responsibility. Period. I am tired of the excuses being offered up as to 'why it has to be like that'.

Now some idiot is going to read this and say, 'He wants me to be 'soft'. Fuck that..'. No. No one is telling you not to stand up for yourself and do what you gotta do. At all. I don't think that is a bad thing. What I do not condone is the when people are running around doing shit for shits and giggles.

Stand for what you believe in but you need to be mindful of what you believe in and how you support it. Understand that certain shit is only going to get you so far in Life if you want to keep living it to its fullest. You have to evolve. It is imperative that you do so. If you want respect, you have to go get it and fear is not the way. Obviously not being a punk WILL GARNER you some of the respect you seek but is not the END ALL BE ALL that some of you are making it out to be. All that is going to do is drive the REAL PEOPLE who you are trying to get like away and close doors for you. Those that fear you? Let them get a leg up on you in ANY CAPACITY? Sheeit, you are beat. Why? No respect for you. (That is, if they have code themselves.) Especially when you no longer have the vehicle (means) to mete out said fear. Then what are you going to do? Didn't think that far ahead did you? See what I mean......

That's not my reality....


I hear you saying that. You know what that means though don't you? You need to make it your reality. Somehow. Someway. Especially if you are raising the next generation. It HAS TO BE YOUR REALITY or it will be your demise. Be true to yourself for a second. Ask yourself just how many people you have lost because they dedicated themselves to live that way? (Yes, I know TRULY INNOCENT PEOPLE DIE TOO! Not talking about them and YOU KNOW IT.) Very few (if any) win at the game of confusing Fear with Respect. Do you want to win or do you want to lose? I know we all like to say what those of us that we have lost 'think' but I can tell you from personal experience that I have yet to CONFIRM if they still feel that way now that they are gone. You take that however you need to take it. Yes, I see their likeness in my dreams. I hear their voices speak to me but it is usually to write something JUST LIKE I AM WRITING NOW. Not the other stuff I hear people saying. I suspect they get those messages too though but it isn't 'cool' to say that type of thing. Just know you are not alone out there. I know there are people that are scared to put it to some of you who are reading this like that but it is the harsh realities of the situation. Just like those guns that those of us have lost were used to bust at cats or those bricks they moved...It is ALL REAL. You can keep running from the shit if you like though @ how this movie ends. I can't MAKE YOU SEE IT and I know you need to SEE IT FOR YOURSELF. Hopefully you will look back on this day that you read this as one of the points that spoke to you if and when you decide that obtaining your respect via fear is no longer your option of choice.


I guess I have taken up enough of your time today so back to the other stuff..But I am not done with this. By a long shot. More to come.