M.O.I....Just a few words on this Father's Day from me...about mine....

Poem of Life

Life is but a stopping place,

A pause in what's to be,

A resting place along the road,

To sweet eternity.

We all have different journeys,

Different paths along the way,

We all were meant to learn some things,

But never meant to stay...

Our destination is a place,

Far greater than we know.

For some the journey's quicker,

For some the journey's slow.

And when the journey finally ends,

We'll claim a great reward,

And find an everlasting peace,

Together with the Lord.

This is the poem I read on the 9th of June, 2011 at my Father's funeral. I know for any of you who are reading this as a 'forward', these words look 'out of place' amidst all the women, the secular music and the like. Too bad. Judge all you want. Couldn't very well get up there and recite Hov now could I? I mean, I could have but it wouldn't have been appropriate. If you think it looks out of place, just keep reading. Things are about to become abundantly clear as to how I feel on this day. The first one without my Father to pick up the phone to call and say 'Happy Father's Day'...

Here is the thing about June 2nd though.  Sure MY father died but he wasn't just a father to me. He was a mentor of most of my friends, cousins and in his circle. He was THE FATHER that most of my friends never had. He pushed his peers by EXAMPLE by doing things such as starting his own dump truck company, delving into making hand carved ducks that would have sold for $1000 or more. I watched person after person in that field make the offer. Not talking what I 'heard' but what I saw. The man who taught him how to do it would IMPLORE MY FATHER TO SELL HIS STUFF but my Father just liked to make the ducks and said "I am not in it for that. I just want to learn the craft..". Another LESSON that has not been lost on me and those around him. It is why he prospered in it. He did it because he loved to do it. (There's a lesson in there somewhere. If you are smart as you think you are, you will figure it out. You may dismiss it but you can't deny it is there.)

I was reminded that he was more than just MY Father as I prepared to bury him in the days leading up to his funeral. From the phone calls I took from his cell phone (Most talked of having no land line....He DID IT. Cut it off and said 'If you don't have my cell then I probably don't f*ck with you anyway..) I was able to see the ABSOLUTE IMPACT that my Father had on folks. I saw it as I went to pick up my oldest daughter from school before catching the flight down to NC when I got the news. You see, two of my classmates TEACH at the her school. One of their main influences in becoming teachers? Men like my Father. (Oh, you thought I meant he was the ONLY STRONG BLACK MAN IN THE WORLD? No. That's you. Stop putting what you would do or mean on me...Please and thank you.) They would often tell me how my Father's patience, guidance and sometimes sternness led them to want to give back to children in the way that men like my Father gave to them. The sorrow they expressed as I told them what had taken place that day re-affirmed the gift that my Father constantly gave throughout his life. 




Many viewed my Father as a VERY STRICT AND DEMANDING PERSON as it pertained to me. Think Doughboy speaking to Trey about his Daddy 'Furious Stylez' only ON STEROIDS. That was my Dad. He just didn't fucking play to be blunt and once my friends were introduced to him (or in some cases made aware as he was my administrator and was to others either older or younger than me for upwards of 20 years) cats backed ALL UP OFF OF THAT 'Soft, scared, (insert negative connotation here) of me 'cause they saw FIRSTHAND that I had someone in my life who just FLAT OUT WOULDN'T ALLOW THE BULLSHIT. Any definition of 'tough' that any of my friends had was quickly dispelled once they were in the presence of my Father. They learned quickly why I was not phased by the 'Worldly' meaning of 'tough' and all the bullshit. None of them could be any harder on me than he could. Physically or mentally.


From the time he pulled his piece out, IN SCHOOL to show the 'hustling ni#@as' what time it was. He also WAS ONE OF THE ONLY ADMINISTRATORS to go down in their hood to bring them food, shoes, or that guidance that they lacked when no one else would. That was my Father. Never scared. Never intimidated. Always giving. Always understanding but always firm and unflinching with the advice. The kids LOVED HIM FOR THAT. To a man (or woman), his kids STILL COME UP TO ME AND TELL ME TO THANK HIM FOR TRYING TO KEEP THEM STRAIGHT. To share stories with me of how he helped them in some way........


So will I be 'lost' without him? No. You see, he has been GROOMING ME FOR THIS DAY MY WHOLE LIFE. I didn't realize it at the time though. I was not that insightful but as I got older, I could see it. Like a light in the distance. It seemed far for awhile but as he went to the hospital for each ailment and the Lord saw fit to let him stay with us, I slowly came to the realization. One of these times.....

Unlike some folks I know with regards to their loved ones passing, when he passed, I was on GREAT TERMS WITH HIM. Whatever 'differences' we may been perceived to have, were non-existent. I talked to him often. Sometimes about deep stuff and sometimes JUST BECAUSE. Our favorite opening line on the phone to each other was 'I was just calling...I didn't want shit...What you doing?" This is HOW WE WOULD START OUT OUR CONVO and it went from there. Time didn't matter. Maybe early in the morning. Sometimes late at night. Sometimes midday. I am going to miss making that phone call. I think I have already replaced that call. I just talk to him out loud now. Call me what you want. Not a #$@ will be given on this end. I can still hear his voice but THEN AGAIN, EVEN 500 SOME ODD MILES AWAY, I would hear it so that is ACTUALLY NOTHING NEW. I am used to that. It isn't haunting at all in any way. It is actually comforting. You see, along with all the other things my Daddy taught me, he let me know REAL FAST that not everyone had one of 'him' in their lives. Just like alluded to up top. Which is why he would always say he admired how I was so willing to 'share him' with others who were of no kin to us. It is why I am the way I am today. Always caring for others (as long as they act accordingly). Always giving. Always advising or passing along the little bit that I do know. I think that is the gift my Father gave me that I love the most. The gift of being a real man. It is why I can stand in the face of some of these 'others' with pride and without fear. 

I have more stories to tell and I can't promise you I won't tell them here. Amidst the music, the fuckery that is the World that I broadcast through this medium to some extent. I don't even ask that you 'respect' it either. "Cause when I feel like it, I will express it. Without your 'approval'. I don't need it. Never did. You just read a TIDBIT AS TO WHY THAT IS SO. I just wasn't raised that way. It was never acceptable to seek the approval of others if what I was doing didn't 'please' the popular folks. My Father taught me that a LONG TIME AGO. You have to know I am not going to stop now don't you? It would be a disgrace to his memory and the work he did with me. 


Love you Dad. 








Now a word from me to the rest of you out there....on this Father's Day.


Happy Father's Day to all the Fathers, cats filling in for and those who assume the duties of a Father on this day. Shoutout to ya'll who are using this day to 'speak out about the misfortune' of not having a Father, about the person that YOU CHOSE to have a child by not doing his part or about those folks who we all know aren't doing their part as parents. I will leave the 'out and out' slander to ya'll and just address those folks just like this. 

IT'S NOT TOO LATE. Get in the game and get involved with your kid if you are among the living. 



I will also take the time to address you folks who are calling them out:


First things first, this is a DAY OF CELEBRATION for some folks so you will have to excuse us if we don't join in your misery. This isn't the day for that. The other 364 days of the year would be better served to make your point truthfully. Some of you need to look in the mirror at the choices you have made, the way you have allowed 'that lack of' to overrun your OWN LIFE AND THE LIKE. There are PLENTY of folks around to help you but MANY OF YOU HAVE IGNORED THAT HELP IN THE NAME OF FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELVES. For those of you who ACTUALLY DON'T HAVE HELP, GUESS WHAT?  It is up to you. Period. You can throw a pity party later. Meanwhile this thing called LIFE IS GOING ON. You might wanna join the rest of us (and your CHILDREN) in it....

Many of you have allowed yourselves to 'wallow' in your misfortunes and you (or/and ESPECIALLY ) your child is suffering due to all of that 'hatred' you have built up. Time to start to heal people. That's all I am going to say. I mean, I CAN EXPOUND if you like but I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING. Don't you? I thought you did....Let this day be and start fighting to make things BETTER tomorrow instead of sitting and basking in negativity. I am a lil tired of hearing the 'backhanded' compliments and folks bringing up bullshit on these holidays (Mother and Father's Day) I don't hear ya'll any other time of the year. @ those who don't have a horse in this race. Cut that hateful shit out. Be thankful you are in the position to even see some of those children you are speaking on and here's a thought....


GET UP OFF YOUR ASS AND DO YOUR PART TO HELP THAT CHILD FILL THAT VOID. 


How about that? I know I do...Stop talking and complaining...Do something....




 (Excuse the typos..Doing this from my Android. It is a bit difficult. Never done it but needed to get this out..)