Oh and the actual title of this is Dear Nigga.....If you don't know by now color doesn't matter when I PERSONALLY (See how I did that there?) use this word so I could very well be talking about you regardless of creed or color.
Dear Nigga, (It is singular but can be used in a plural sense if need be...)
The following things ARE NOT IMPRESSING ME. So please stop trying to find a way to slide them into conversations/show me/allude to/or any of that shit.
-Your guts and glory. A.K.A Your street cred certificate.
If I know you, I am not IMPRESSED about this part of you. I am not a broad. I don't need you to protect me so I could care less how you handle your business. I handle mines. That's all you need to know. Even if I do or don't know you, I could give a shit about the time you had to hem a nigga up in the store, that shootout you had with them niggas up top, the time that them niggas was scared because you were holding, or the numerous times you knocked out Security (but you where you leave out that they DRAGGED YOUR ASS all up and down that back alley when you got outside. I was there..I saw it.) Or the bodies. Definitely don't care about all of those imaginary 'bodies' you have. On or off wax. In particular on 'cause that is where I hear it the most but sometimes I hear off wax. Hear some of you tell it (especially you rappers), a nigga might get murked for breathing the same air as you or some shit. Which we all know isn't true so stop it. Oh and stop thinking you are Tony Montana. (Whispers...Not sure if you saw the END OF THE MOVIE but Tony gets killed..He didn't have to. He doesn't live to see Manyana...Just thought I would remind you.) I happen to know some real life dudes who were like that (and some who 'thought they were who lived to talk about it and have changed) who left some friends/family/kids/nephews (I am ONE OF THEM!)/nieces and while they are family or friends of MINE, they never DID IMPRESS ME WITH THAT SHIT. Cousins kept fucking with ya'll so called 'heros'. Shit, my damm UNCLE was THE ONLY mofo running shit in his grill from Florida to NC to DE back when nobody thought to do it. Serving cops and fiends alike. ( I can back that story up ANYTIME any of you niggas want it backed up. His boys are still alive and well.) On some of these very streets you niggas call yourself 'hustling' on. and HE DIDN'T IMPRESS ME with that shit. He impressed me with his business mind and ability to adapt to ANY AND ALL SITUATIONS. Corporate and otherwise. So if he didn't impress me with that shit, why should I give a fuck about you and your tales..I don't.
- Your car.
Look fam, I have had the hottest, fastest cars. I LOVE CARS. I also know they are a HORRIBLE INVESTMENT. I have had several high end cars and the MAINTENANCE ALONE is a bitch. Nevermind, putting a set of rims, a system and security on it. All for it to be, most of the time impractical as a mofo. I could GIVE A SHIT IF YOU HAVE A MB, A BIMMER, or whatever. Especially since as a car nut, I know who owns who and which ones are actually worth a damm. (Or have the same PARTS AND SPECS as the lesser priced models..). Here is the kicker though. Most of the times it is NOT THE OWNERS OF THOSE cars I listed that act like this. Oh no. It is people that are riding like I pictured above. Not a bad set of wheels mind you but they are running calling folks 'jealous', acting like they are DOING IT BIG and the like over a set of rims. Word? Nigga! You are riding a '93 Jimmy. It is 2010! That joint has been bought and paid for several times at this point. You OUGHT TO BE ABLE TO PAINT IT, RIM IT, and reupholster that joint at this point. You have payments on it? I'm through. But you want to rag on other people who are at least RIDING IN 05'S AND UP 'cause they don't have 'shoes' on their car? Nigga please.
You have a Range Rover? Cool. Good luck to you when you try to off road in it to show off for the girls and realize (find out later) that you needed SOME MORE EQUIPMENT if you wanted to do what you were trying to do. Or better still, after you have put all that money into and whatever your 'hustle' was, dries up and you can't maintain it.Or can't make that payment that is in your girl's name. Whichever comes first.... Oh you got a lil Mustang? Great! Have fun stopping for gas. I know when I had a car like that, I did. When I am ready for that again, I will do it. No one is jealous or envious of you and your ride. We are good over here thank you. When I want to do that, I will. When I do it AGAIN you STILL WON'T HEAR FROM ME ABOUT IT. Unlike you and your fetching for compliments ass...
(I put so many nice pictures up here in the blog that I decided NOT TO PUT A PHOTO UP HERE..I know, you are mad. Deal with it. That's not what this post is about...)
-Your 'bad' girl/man..or the fact that you have a mate at all.
Somebody wants you and loves. Be happy. Newsflash. Millions and millions and millions of people have a girl/man. It isn't just you. If you are lucky, you might just have more than one significant relationship. If you can get over yourself long enough to embark in one after that ONE okay looking one you managed to obtain...We get it. You got a man. You got a girl. They are the baddest thing walking these streets. Yay bitch yay...I mean if I ask you okay..If it comes up in conversation, okay! That other shit? Miss me with it...Which leads us into..
-having carnal relations with the opposite sex (Especially in COPIOUS NUMBERS)..A.K.A getting sexed or getting some..
....There is a couple called Adam & Eve that would like to have a word with you when you get off your own dick/clit about being able to fuck period. Lets start there. Shits been going on before. Will go on after you. You don't know if you are the best to ever do it so shut all of that noise up. And this fuck anybody you 'want' shit? Another bullshit lie. ANYBODY? No. Most? Okay. Some? More believable..Anybody? FOH. Contrary to popular belief, EVERYONE doesn't care about your money, your phat ass, your 'bomb' head game or any of your other 'glowing' attributes. Maybe Keisha in the mail room does or Quan from the corner does but not EVERYONE. Furthermore, look around you. The World is HEAVILY POPULATED. You don't even KNOW everyone in it AND you aren't the only one doing it. Most of us are fucking. A lot. While some are being made through 'procedures', the vast majority of babies are conceived the good ole fashioned way. The very thing that you are claiming to be doing in HIGH VOLUME and bragging about every chance you get. "That hoe is on my dick..."..."That nigga won't leave me alone...I got him sprung and I'm 'bout to spring another one..." Who the cares? Not me. If I told you my number you would go into a jealous lying, denial type rage. If I got even more girly mouthed about it and told WHO WAS ON THAT LIST, you might not speak to me again. Ya dig? Why haven't I done that? "Cause it is CORNY. That's why. I am not the first person to have a 'list' and won't be the last. Neither are you. I couldn't give a any more LESS THAN A FUCK that you are fucking. You have sex. Congratulations. You want a cookie now? Chocolate chip or Raisin??? You want to impress me? Take care of them seven kids you got from all that 'fucking'. Do that. That might impress me....
-Putting your kids in designer clothes/hot sneakers in every color and then looking down on the rest of the World when they don't follow suite.
Not impressive. Buying the boy some bootleg Lebron "PreHeats" that he is only going to be able to wear for two months but having a leaky roof over his head is not impressive to me. Especially if the money spent could have bought two regular pair of shoes. We all want to look nice but there is a line. And you are crossing it by hinting, bragging about, or talking about that designer clothes thing with me. Especially with children. I mean, Lil Man has the Ice Creams but he has 'reduced lunch'? Really? He/she has the new (insert whatever brand/article of clothing here) yet you haven't gotten that child a tutor talking about 'It was my weak subject in school too so ya know...." Yeah? Wow. You bought Aisha some Gucci but she is doing bad in school AND you can't afford to get her a computer which she desperately needs to type her papers up. Yeah...I'm REAL FUCKING impressed. Sure. Do they have to wear K-Mart sneakers or off brand shoes? NO! Not saying that. They don't have to have on all designer shit either and you CERTAINLY don't have to run around bragging about it. "Cause lets say they ARE DOING GREAT IN SCHOOL AND YOU ARE DOING THIS. You are STILL fucking up their value system like that. In a couple of years, you will be telling that half-hearted statement/joke every parent of a spoiled kid says..."He/She is so spoiled...He gets whatever he wants. Don't know where he got it from.." Which will lead to more problems. What kind of examples are you setting for your kids people! Show some restraint and resist the urge to spoil while still PROVIDING FOR THEM. Learning that in Life you can't always get what you want EARLY ON goes a long way you know.
-You and your cup/bottle/whatever at the club/function/picnic/whatever
First of all it is YOUR CUP. Lets start there. It isn't mine. I don't covet other people's stuff. I leave that for you other lames. So lets start there. Second of all, you OVER PAID for it. The REGULAR DRINKS are overpriced but you REALLY OVERPAID for it. So let me get this straight, I am supposed to be impressed with the fact that you can 'over' pay for a bottle in the club but can't afford to buy your kids diapers? Is that how this works? Or that you can sit with your girls in VIP sipping good but can't afford to take an emergency trip back down South (or where ever it is your Granny lives) to go see about her ass before she dies without borrowing money. Really? FOH..I now see why our parents (Yes, nigga, even yours if they had any sense) PRE'GAMED before it was even CALLED THAT. (That's not new niggas. Nice try and thanks for playing though...) I wish the fuck I would spend money on a bottle of MORE THAN LIKELY NASTY liquor to impress some niggas that don't give five fucks about me. Picture that shit.....Likewise with me being impressed with YOU 'cause you stunting and flossing doing it. Even if you 'got it like that' 'cause chances are you didn't have it like that before so the CHANCES ARE EVEN GREATER THAT YOU WON'T 'HAVE IT LIKE THAT' AGAIN...Which leads us to VIP....
-You obnoxious niggas in VIP....
I put the adjective in there to say that if you are in VIP, cool! We have all (hopefully) gotten a chance to experience some level of it I hope. Even on the bootleg level. (Whispers) You do know that the 'REAL' VIP is usually off in a location that doesn't involve 'ropes and a dude' right? Anyhow, you niggas bragging about 'always being in VIP' and shit are the worse. That shit isn't impressive to me. I have been in VIPs all around. The REAL PARTY is amongst the people. You know, the same ones you claim you 'represent' in your raps and shit? And if you go to VIP, act like you have been there before man. Tired of ya'll running around acting foolish and getting thrown out and then expecting the rest of us to leave 'cause you don't know how to act. Then being 'proud' of that fact and known for that. Shit is old and tiring. Not impressive at all.
(Insert picture of guns here..I think we all know what they look like. I have a post on some of you don't. Put it in the search. @ word gun)
-..being able to name guns...
..or my other favorite...Being able to name what 'caliber' a gun is by hearing the shots. Look nigga, unless you are an ACTUAL SOLDIER, that doesn't impress me. Anybody...I MEAN ANYBODY..can recognize actual gunfire if they have a set of working ears so you get no brownie points from me just 'cause you identify the type of rounds being fired or what it is being fired from. Ooh, you actually took the time to study something..Too bad you didn't apply that 'ethic' to the other things in life that might actually HELP you be a better person.
-Your cellphone
I happen to have a phone that has probably the most second most OBNOXIOUS following known to man when it comes to cellphones. A Blackberry. Second to only the i-Phone. I almost wished I had a 'Droid just so I could avoid the inevitable conversations/chants that comes up. (Even though they are starting to become fanatical too..) So do you think your Blackberry is better than my iPhone? Or TEAM BLACKBERRY YAY! @ the chants and shit...Am I happy that someone has the same type of phone that allows us to communicate via things like BBM and such? YES! Do I think I am better than anyone with a regular phone or that they should be impressed with my smartphone? No. Some of you though boy....
You didn't make the cellphone, you just bought it..- Shit My Dad Says paraphrased.
That's how I feel about this cellphone shit. I wanted a phone to do certain things. It does (sometimes). I don't need the phone to join some kinda cult. Which is ironic 'cause 'we' don't usually act like that. We are acting like that though. Over PHONES no less. Really? FOH. It's a fucking phone man. We all can get email. We all can get on Facebook. We all can watch vids. We can all Twitter. We can all place calls. The end. I don't care about your phone anymore than you SHOULD care about mine.
-blaming the white man FOR EVERYTHING....
Now clearly if you are having issues like this picture below, okay....
But lets fucking face facts here...The HIGH MAJORITY OF YOU are your own worst enemy. Blaming the white man about things like schools because (This was ACTUALLY SAID TO ME..) " Schools were just something someone (white people) just sat around and thought of(f)..." That is a DIRECT QUOTE. Yeah, we don't need school now? Oh really Mr. Wise One? We shouldn't speak 'proper English' either huh? We should speak our 'own' language? You mean the ones that our ancestors spoke? No?? You mean 'street slang"? The OFF SHOOT OF THE VERY LANGUAGE THAT YOU DON'T WANT US TO SPEAK because it is 'their' language? That is the 'language' that you want us all to speak EXCLUSIVELY? (Stares into the camera) Wouldn't that mean that we would have to learn the 'proper' language first and its meanings so we could change them around to mean what we wanted....Or could we just jump right in? I mean, slang is EVER EVOLVING and quite honestly still made up actual words from the ORIGINAL proper English which would mean..Oh nevermind. I am making too much fucking sense. My bad. Carry on with the bullshit....I rest my case on that. (Shoutout to the person who is reading this saying, "This shit was on my wall...I can't believe..Oh shit...) Yeah....
Oh, I won't even get into the drugs, the guns (again) and the overall "We aren't shit so we might as well act ALL THE WAY LIKE IT' mentality that I am supposed to be overly impressed with because of the 'organizational' aspects of it. You know..us 'coming together for one cause' and shit..We won't talk too much about that crock of bullshit.
-These half cocked conspiracy theories that your brother/neighborhood philospher/favorite rapper/favorite movie actor/whatever keeps selling ya'll...
This is my last one for today. Look, I am all for folks 'educating' themselves in unconventional ways. Get it how you live man. The classroom isn't the only place to learn. For sure. Just understand that I am not 'impressed' with saying a simpleton mentality that says 'Fuck Whitey;/the establishment/whatever that basically throws the baby out with the bathwater. In English, nigga, I am not about to co-sign some bullshit ass theories just 'cause I:
A. Can't get through the door to whatever it is I want to do.
B. Something is at a level I may never see so I will just speculate on it just 'cause I can.
C. Because some slick talking person sold me an ideal because I have nothing else to believe in.
Be it a minister, a pastor, clergy, politician or entertainer. Not gonna do it. So no, I am not impressed by your forty minute babble on the 'Secret Society' that IN YOUR OWN WORDS has ZERO effect on your already dire situation. Especially since you ALREADY HAVE FUCKED YOURSELF with four felonies, countless number of missed opportunities and a lack of understanding the importance of an education. Sorry if I am not impressed by the bullshit like you are.....Am I dissing religions here? If I am, I am dissing my own too. I am really dissing the fact that some of you are so smart you are stupid. @ falling for dumb shit. You KNOW EVERYTHING about all the wrong stuff and can't see when you are being taken for a 'ride' when someone comes along to scoop you for their cause and their greater good and not yours. That is what I am saying. If it disses your religion, so be it.
I have more but I thought I would just touch on these things here...I know I am not the first person to make such a list nor will I hopefully not be the last. More are needed. This shit has got to stop man...
*FOH= Fuck Outta Here in case you didn't know....
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