And there are back together..

As you all probably know, Chris and Rhi Rhi are back together. What do I think? Did you read the other shit I wrote? Then what do you think that I think?


Pictures are here if you don't believe me.
http://bossip.com/88462/chris-brown-jet-skiing-and-cheesing-already/#more-88462




It is ultimately their business as to whether they choose to date or not. What you or I think about it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. They are celebrities so unfortunately we ALL KNOW that it happened and most of us will continue to judge the situation from a distance. Not knowing the full story. Not really having any clue of what it is like to even be in the situation, making snarky comments, jumping to conclusions and just basically making claims of outrage and disappointments.

I just hope that they are both being advised and counseled well and that NOW THEY WILL CARRY ON THE RELATIONSHIP like a normal one should. With titles of some sort, known boundaries. and NO HITTING/VERBAL/MENTAL ABUSE. On ANYONE PARTS. 'Cause those are ALL the real issues behind the shit they are going through.

One thing I will say is that they ARE NOT ALONE. I agree with many of you there. They are tons of people dealing with this and I wish them all the best. But what I won't do is sit back and judge them, ESPECIALLY IF I DON'T KNOW THE FACTS OF THE SITUATION INTIMATELY. Unlike some of you. I also know that while most victims blame themselves and that is why they go back. I also know that if you love someone and you know that you are the cause (you pick at the person, you mentally abuse them, you HIT TOO) that sometimes people can work through it. My 'true life' story started off with the words "eventual husband" remember? That wasn't their last fight but I will tell you what. They both 'learned' how to argue do to that VERY UNFORTUNATE incident . She learned to keep her hands to herself and when to walk away. He learned to not argue with her like a stranger in the street and that she has some anger issues of her own. They (gasp) got BETTER AT MAINTAINING the relationship and went on to do be 'normal'. (No relationship is perfect so I won't use the word fine or anything). So it can be done. That is just one of the many examples that I have that have worked out. I do have some that didn't and the parties parted ways but not without learning the 'do's and don'ts' of a relationship which included accepting responsibility for your own actions.

I hope that these two do get it together. They need not get married for me personally to consider it okay. They need just learn how to treat each other better and how not to let things get to the point that they got to on that L.A street almost a month ago. That's all. I don't know whether this public incident will serve as the 'therapy' that they need or not. That is not my OR YOUR CALL though. I think that we should just pray for them and support them. Not condemn them or their decision to keep seeing each other. Definitely no need to put all that pressure on her to become some sort of spokesperson nor to boycott music and the like. That is overkill to me.

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Stephon is free, Twittering and BHO's first address.

Looks like they finally let Mr. Marbury free. 'Bout time. Not that he is some angel or the BEST BASKETBALL PLAYER on the planet. No. It is more about the fact that they Knicks KNEW that they were not going to play him in the summer time and should have been WAY more proactive about getting rid of him. I have watched reporter after reporter slam Steph for not wanting to come into the game after the KNICKS MADE IT CLEAR THEY DIDN'T WANT HIM. Given the kind of leverage that Steph had with his contract structure and a strong Union backing, MANY OF YOU WOULD DO THE SAME THING HE DID. Only you probably can't because your job's contract isn't written like his. I know I would have if my situation allowed it. Anyway, the best to Steph as he suits up in Green...I mean as he finds another team that will utilize his talents.

Twitter. I guess I should be thankful I don't have my BB Storm yet, as it would suffer from a drained battery due to TWITTER. I can see it now. Twittering away from the road about randumb stuff that on a good day no one would want to hear but in this day has become almost essential. I even see stars doing it in real time. Solange was twittering from the same party that my boys were at during the Presidential Inauguration. Same events. Same lil stories. Will they even NEED the press at some point? @ the celebs. I fought the urge forever but JUST LIKE THIS BLOG THING, I too am now a proud member of the 'cult'. lol It is a lot more fun than I thought it would be. Right now, my list consists of people that I like and mostly of people from OKP but soon, I hope to tweet with others that I don't KNOW from there too. Not sure if I wanna do it with family members though. Facebook is enough for me right now on that front.

I will be brief about Obama. I liked the address. I will stress ONE THING though. The same thing that I did when I said I would support him. He is a politician. Meaning? He can A. Only do but so much. We have to do our part. and B. In order for him to stay in power and utilize said power, he is going to have to do shit that we don't like. A lot. I never lost sight of that. Did you? Hope not. So when the 'critics' point out flaws in the plan, I am not mad. I see them too. I don't like them too sometimes. Doesn't mean I am going to rake him over the coals. Even when Bush was in office I didn't go at him TOO HARD. It is the hardest job in the WORLD in my opinion so there is some leeway. Not too much though. Not even for BHO. At least not from me. I also wasn't expecting this dramatic change in the first 100. The mess that needs to be cleaned will take time to clean and honestly, it probably WON'T GET DONE while he is in office. To quote Clifford Harris- I am only striking the match. Someone else will have to keep the fire going. (He stole that from an old head. My granny used to say that.) That is what this is like to me. He can change some policies and the like but it will take time.

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True story time...

When I in college, I was fortunate enough to live off campus with my late female cousin and her then BF (later husband). Everything was cool on the living front and all of that. Their relationship, however, was a volatile one. Had been that way since they were 15 (him) and 17 (her) You see, he was a basketball star was one of the better players in the country. He loved my cousin though and as a result never left more than 70 miles away from home so that she could be near. So he transferred to our school and we lived together. I am a soph and they are second year jrs and older than me by a couple of years.

Now, as you can probably imagine, him playing ball endeared him to the females something serious. But he LITERALLY, didn't have time to do shit 'cause she clocked his EVERY MOVE. Always at the games, always at the parties, they worked together and even took many classes together. You get the point. But she had done him wrong a couple of times first and he in turn did the same. So they had a lil 'history' but were working through it.

Anyhow, some chick in our class (Him and I had a class together) decides it is a good idea to come to our apartment after she finds out where we live. My cousin answers the door and shit pops off. Bam, she beats chicks ass end of story right? No. She then goes in on him. For about 3 hours. They are arguing. She is throwing shit and just really wilding out. Things go quiet and I come outta my room and we start cooking dinner. We are cooking dinner. She starts back in AGAIN. Now I done already vouched for the nigga that it wasn't on him mind you but she is still on that shit. Love her to DEATH but she felt threatened by the chick falling through. So they pop shit to each other about the past and really start hitting 'below the belt' with shit. He says the wrong thing and BAM, she hits the nigga with a frying pan. A caste iron joint. Not that lil flimsy joint you buy up top in Macy's. The REAL SHIT. The shit that goes thud and leaves you lumped up. HE TAKES THAT. He looks at me and says "You saw that right?" I wasn't shocked per say (family is bat shit crazy) but at the same time I thought it was uncalled for. This nigga got a lump on his head now. He said some foul shit. She said some foul shit. It was all true so maybe that is why that reaction happened. Anyhow, he LEAVES. Grabs his coat outta a apartment with his name on the lease and jumps in his Saab. She follows him in the Volvo. I get in my shit 'cause I saw the look in his eye and as a dude, I respected that he left. I don't catch up to them 'till it is too late though. When I get there she is at it again. Banging on his car. Fucking his shit up. The whole nine. He snapped. He hit her. Oh boy. Her eye was flown. Way worse then that Rhi shit. Now I WATCHED THIS SHIT UNFOLD. From beginning to end. So I am torn like shit. I heard that thud when she smacked that cat upside the head. (His back was turned too so he NEVER SAW IT COMING.) I watched him do what we are told to do as men which was leave. I watched her FOLLOW HIS ASS. She ran to that ass whuppin. Period. She was wrong two times. For hitting him and then for following him. Off course, I had a role to upkeep too and me and him got into it. You know the phonecalls were made and a couple of uncles LITERALLY GOT ON A PETER PAN, whipped that ass, and went home within 48 hours but that is not the fucking point I am making.

The point is that in a situation like that there is usually more than one person to blame. Period. Two wrongs don't make a right and one wrong doesn't ERASE your wrong in it. That is what I am seeing in this current 'media' situation. He did something so EVERYTHING THAT SHE DID is automatically forgotten. Bullshit. No it is not. That is just WRONG. Wrong wrong wrong. The whole situation is wrong. Baiting people 'cause you think you can due to gender is wrong. I can tell who has really seen the shit first hand from beginning to end, who has seen the 'results' only and who has only heard and does not have a clue of how a situation like this unfolds. This ain't the movies where the dude gets drunk, she asks where he is has been and he hits her. Which is what a lot of people know of a domestic situation. It is a lot of things. Lots of mitigating factors. I see lots of support groups dismissing the factors as a whole which I feel is wrong. Some of the reason SHOULD BE DIMISSED I agree. Many of them are valid and they disregarded solely to make one party feel better which isn't always the best thing. It sends the wrong message. It says that it is okay to treat people like shit and do things to people solely because you are physically weaker. That is the message it sends. You can spin it, talk it up, even get HARPO to cosign it but the bottom line is that you can do things to people that will hurt them and it is okay. @ 'there is never a reason for it to escalate on the man's part' motto. That is what you are teaching? This after teaching people their whole lives to do unto others as you would want them to unto you? Lotta double talking. That's all I am saying. Which one is it?

So some of you 'know me' and your first question/statement is gonna be this:

"What about your daughters? What would you do then? Flip it around" You think I ain't do that shit? Really? C'mon now.

Read the story I just gave. Everybody has shit that they have to do. I will do my part and kick his ass 'cause he deserves it and she (they) are my kid. But she doesn't just get to get off doing whatever it is that she wants to a man, come running to me to save her and expect not to hear about her 'contributions' to the situation. Especially if I KNOW HER (them) like I do and how they act and react. Which I do. They are my DAMM DAUGHTERS SO I WILL KNOW. I know now dammit. I can tell you who the passive one is, who is the middle ground, and who would be more than likely to kick HER NIGGA'S ASS and I would have to save him. That's just real talk. Futhermore, I hope to raise young ladies that will look for signs of abuse, not do shit to other people (like hit them w/frying pans or while they are driving), and who will among other things hopefully know how a relationship is supposed to work. None of that quasi, we are fucking but not bf/gf but I reserve the right to snap about shit bs that the two stars in question were partaking in. (all this popped over a text message that was sent to HIS PHONE.) That is a dangerous game within itself. You are ASKING FOR TROUBLE on both sides when you play that game. So that is what I would do. I am teaching them right now. Don't put your hands on people unless you like getting them put back on you. Don't stay with people who put their hands on you. Don't go around doing shit to people, draw a line in the sand and then expect them to act the way YOU THINK THAT YOU WOULD if it was done to you. Everyone doesn't react like you nor do they react the way you think they should when you do something foul to them.


So yeah, that's why I ain't said shit about this situation. It isn't a cut and dry situation. 'Cause of this scenario and MANY MANY MANY MORE I have seen first hand. I am all for people not getting taken advantage of or beat on for no reason. On BOTH SIDES. I don't like it when a female friend of mine pops shit/puts her hands on a dude and then comes to get me to back them up. I have had that happen. I don't like when dudes come home from a bad day with the boys/jobs and beat their woman. That is lame and I have seen that happen and checked them. It goes both ways ya'll. Just 'cause it is a woman and I have a woman/daughters doesn't change my stance on it. I will 'protect them' but I damm sure don't have to cosign bad behavior. I would be doing them a diservice if I ran around saying that if they acted a total fool and no one has the right to be up in arms about it. Maybe you coddle your kids like that BUT I AM NOT THAT PARENT.

THEY ARE BOTH TO BLAME DAMMIT. Deal with it. You may not like it but that is the truth. I wonder if someone, in the midst of treating her trauma for being hit, will address her and her behavior? 'Cause they should. Teach her (and his stupid ass) about relationships and how they are supposed to go. Clearly, neither one of them are good at it at this point.

If that makes you feel like you are 'glad you don't have to deal with me' GREAT. 'Cause I don't wanna fuck with no one who is going to mistreat me verbally, physically and mentally under the premise that 'I can't really do shit back' 'cause they are a woman. 'Cause that in essence is what you are saying. No matter what, I gotta take your shit. No I don't. Which is why I have walked away from many ' a good woman' 'cause they felt as though they could act a fucking fool and I was to just take it. If you lost respect for me, chances are after reading what you wrote on the subject I LOST RESPECT FOR YOU so we are even. Now what?

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Well, well, well...Rafer 'Skip To My Lou' Alston

Looks like the Slam Dunk Runner up will have someone to throw him some fancy alleys to him. @ Rafer.





I have always wanted homeboy to do well..Here is a sneak peek at him if you don't know exactly who he is..

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Is your spouse on the Net like you??

I feel like talking about this today. I am guessing that anyone under say 24 is going to give an emphatic YES to this one and the discussion will either become

A: REALLY DEEP and insightful

or
B: Die quicker than a flower in the desert as it is no big deal and it is a given in the perils of a relationship.

Well, as many of you know I AM NOT 24. Have not been for a while so for me (and those whose partners are either not interested in the computer socially, inept at the computer thing all together or are older) the conversation becomes one of MAJOR importance.

All of the sudden, a person who is already VERY SOCIAL in some aspects is allowed to speak to numerous people in a matter of seconds. The acceptable 'social hours' have become a thing of the past. If someone is 'online' that means that you can go ahead and talk RIGHT THEN. Two in the morning, four in the afternoon, eleven at night have all become the same time in many many ways in regards to 'social hours'.

The unfortunate reality of this though is that while it may have become acceptable to reach out and talk to someone at those times, for the person's spouse, the 'boundary lines' have become harder and harder to 'enforce'. Anyone saying that the computer doesn't have some effect on your relationship if you have one in your home is probably lying. Whether you do 'work' on the computer to provide for your family WELL INTO THE NIGHT BEYOND REGULAR WORK HOURS or whether you use it to keep your mind sharp by having discourse with your friends around the World, it affects your household. It is has also become increasingly harder for what I call 'the solitary game' to be played. If you have been in a relationship of any sort, YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. Where you partner decides to not speak to you even though you are both up and awake. A lil harder to do when there is a place where millions of people are either bored, busy chatting, or being ignored too waiting to chat now isn't it? So now the computer is the 'debil' for some and that is what I want to speak on today.

Again, I will preface this for my younger set that this is PROBABLY NOT A PROBLEM FOR YOU. You grew up not knowing nothing but this. I actually did too as my Dad was a computer dude and I was one of 'those' people on the first AOL joints and all of that stuff.

So you are the spouse of one of these people huh? They get on the computer, on their Blackberry, on their Treo, laptop or whatever and they are constantly typing away. Laughing at things that you have no real interest in, looking around, getting compliments, holding conversations with four, five or thirty people at a time and they are feeling GOOD. Meanwhile, you are over to the side with a mouth full of blood. Sucking your teeth. Making snide comments. You know the 'h' word that people use nowadays. (I refuse to use that word. Sue me.) So you decide outta SPITE, you are going to get involved. Only you can't find YOUR OWN LITTLE SPACE IN CYBER WORLD. Oh no! You have to go to where your spouse is having fun too. lol It's a free world though so you can go where you want. That's cool. But you don't see your spouse running out to have mimosas with you and your girls at the same spot knowing he hates lil girly drinks now do you? You would pull his card if he did that! You don't see your girl suddenly showing up at Buffalo Wild Wings, beer mug in hand, sitting at your favorite spot in the bar by the big TV on game nights uninvited now do you? Again, you would call her out! So why do people think it can be done on the Net without issue? Not only that, you are only on outta spite so that next classic phrases that are gonna come outta your mouth holds no weight.

"I don't see what the big deal is about this place you go to anyway.."

No sh@t! You aren't there to have fun. You are only there outta spite. If you liked it like that, you probably would have either been there first or stumbled across it in your travels. Who said it was 'paradise' anyway? I didn't! Just like anything else in the world, there are parts I like and parts I don't like about the places I visit. lol That is you and your dumb #ss thinking just 'cause I laugh out loud literally sometimes that the place must be 'golden' not realizing that I just spent the last 30 minutes skimming through the same stupid #ss repetitive topics to get to that laugh. Not my fault that you made that assumption.

'You only go there to get p#ssy/d#ck or to get compliments.

The first thing I wanna say in regards to this is that if you have to say something this crass or blunt then YOU KNOW THAT YOU MUST NOT BE DOING YOUR JOB IN GIVING SAID THINGS. You know it. I don't wanna hear about what is causing you NOT TO DO YOUR JOB either. If you got the nuts to say this then you must have also gotten the cojones to look at your role in it and say "I know why he/she goes there and I am not doing my job..." Period. So having said that, what I wanna know is why don't YOU JUST SAY THAT. If you really think that your spouse is trolling the Internet looking for an ego boost or some sex that they aren't getting from you THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT besides giving the laptop the side eye every time they open it. Here's an idea, WHY DON'T YOU GIVE THEM SOME OF SAID ATTENTION that you think they are seeking? Remember when you used to send him dirty texts talking about "Whose p#ssy is this?" Remember those?? Well, you might want to take off the mental block and get back on your game. Remember those lil compliments you used to give her? How you used to show up at her job to make sure that the lil UPS dude/head cafeteria dude/boss guy knew her man was on his job? Yeah those visits fool! You might wanna start those up and keep it up this time. (Gasp) What a damm novel concept. Your welcome by the way. I oughta smack you though for not thinking of it first. Getting mad at your spouse for sh#t that you used to provide on the regular that they should expect is NOT FAIR. We all have our moments and that is fine but there is a line somewhere.

Now for all of you people that like to do the following things:

Make lil dummy accounts where your spouse frequents.
Break into their email accounts to see what is 'going on'.
Go off and join some stupid BLATANT DATING SITE and put up profiles hoping to either catch your spouse there or to do something stupid yourself outta spite.

STOP IT. Please. You are making yourself look bad and your spouse too. Especially if your spouse is on a network with YOUR FRIENDS. You know the same ones that you claimed
had no impact on some of the stupid sh#t you have done in the past. Remember that statement ladies and gentleman? I am sure you have made it.

This breaking into email sh#t gets it OWN paragraph. Listen, I know that if you are at the point that you feel the need to break into some one's email that sh#t is rough. I can respect it from that angle. You need answers and you are not getting them. Fine. Two things though. First, if you gott a look that hard for answers that you already know the answers you are hustling backwards. Confirmation my #ss. You know what it is and more than likely you know who you are dealing with ANYWAY! Second. I am almost positive that during the day, you have conversations with strangers during the day in which words are exchanged that your spouse might not like. I also know you ain't running home telling them how they REALLY MADE YOU FEEL. So unless you are just straight up appalled by what you are hearing in your everyday life from others, you can't put but so much weight into things that are said via email/online/etc. The person on the other end of the email is no more of a threat than the dude that bags your groceries or that gal that chats you up at the mall or gym. Think of it like that. Or maybe you are and that is why you are mad. Either way that should put a different perspective on things for you. I have had partners have their accounts hacked into only to have the person find what they wanted to know and NOT DO SH@T ABOUT IT. What is the point of that? lol I don't get it. Now you know the truth and still nothing happens? Oh wait, you knew the truth but just felt like having something concrete to yell about huh? Stupid...


That's all for now..I think..

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One of my favorite sayings...

'To err is human, to forgive is divine' and to face it and deal with it is extraordinary.

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We won. Number Six.

That is a personal picture of mine. Just you can see how serious it really is. I am happy that we won and even happier with the way that we did it. The Cardinals showed up and for that I am happy. Wiz had his team RIGHT as he should have seeing as though he is a disciple of Bill Cowher our former coach. What did you expect? Larry played outta his mind in the second half and the future Hall of Famer (Thank goodness none of you knuckleheads in cyberspace can actually vote on it!) Kurt Warner showed why he is one of the game's best. Ben did what Ben does- Spyder from And1 paraphrased. Santonio came back to his home state and showed another homestate boy (Dominique Rodgers-Comartie) what it really does and that this is not Tenn. St. That catch was SIIIIICKKKK!!! The Defensive Player of the Year had the play of the day to me. @ James Harrison.

It was a good game.

Number six baby!!

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