Is your spouse on the Net like you??

I feel like talking about this today. I am guessing that anyone under say 24 is going to give an emphatic YES to this one and the discussion will either become

A: REALLY DEEP and insightful

or
B: Die quicker than a flower in the desert as it is no big deal and it is a given in the perils of a relationship.

Well, as many of you know I AM NOT 24. Have not been for a while so for me (and those whose partners are either not interested in the computer socially, inept at the computer thing all together or are older) the conversation becomes one of MAJOR importance.

All of the sudden, a person who is already VERY SOCIAL in some aspects is allowed to speak to numerous people in a matter of seconds. The acceptable 'social hours' have become a thing of the past. If someone is 'online' that means that you can go ahead and talk RIGHT THEN. Two in the morning, four in the afternoon, eleven at night have all become the same time in many many ways in regards to 'social hours'.

The unfortunate reality of this though is that while it may have become acceptable to reach out and talk to someone at those times, for the person's spouse, the 'boundary lines' have become harder and harder to 'enforce'. Anyone saying that the computer doesn't have some effect on your relationship if you have one in your home is probably lying. Whether you do 'work' on the computer to provide for your family WELL INTO THE NIGHT BEYOND REGULAR WORK HOURS or whether you use it to keep your mind sharp by having discourse with your friends around the World, it affects your household. It is has also become increasingly harder for what I call 'the solitary game' to be played. If you have been in a relationship of any sort, YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. Where you partner decides to not speak to you even though you are both up and awake. A lil harder to do when there is a place where millions of people are either bored, busy chatting, or being ignored too waiting to chat now isn't it? So now the computer is the 'debil' for some and that is what I want to speak on today.

Again, I will preface this for my younger set that this is PROBABLY NOT A PROBLEM FOR YOU. You grew up not knowing nothing but this. I actually did too as my Dad was a computer dude and I was one of 'those' people on the first AOL joints and all of that stuff.

So you are the spouse of one of these people huh? They get on the computer, on their Blackberry, on their Treo, laptop or whatever and they are constantly typing away. Laughing at things that you have no real interest in, looking around, getting compliments, holding conversations with four, five or thirty people at a time and they are feeling GOOD. Meanwhile, you are over to the side with a mouth full of blood. Sucking your teeth. Making snide comments. You know the 'h' word that people use nowadays. (I refuse to use that word. Sue me.) So you decide outta SPITE, you are going to get involved. Only you can't find YOUR OWN LITTLE SPACE IN CYBER WORLD. Oh no! You have to go to where your spouse is having fun too. lol It's a free world though so you can go where you want. That's cool. But you don't see your spouse running out to have mimosas with you and your girls at the same spot knowing he hates lil girly drinks now do you? You would pull his card if he did that! You don't see your girl suddenly showing up at Buffalo Wild Wings, beer mug in hand, sitting at your favorite spot in the bar by the big TV on game nights uninvited now do you? Again, you would call her out! So why do people think it can be done on the Net without issue? Not only that, you are only on outta spite so that next classic phrases that are gonna come outta your mouth holds no weight.

"I don't see what the big deal is about this place you go to anyway.."

No sh@t! You aren't there to have fun. You are only there outta spite. If you liked it like that, you probably would have either been there first or stumbled across it in your travels. Who said it was 'paradise' anyway? I didn't! Just like anything else in the world, there are parts I like and parts I don't like about the places I visit. lol That is you and your dumb #ss thinking just 'cause I laugh out loud literally sometimes that the place must be 'golden' not realizing that I just spent the last 30 minutes skimming through the same stupid #ss repetitive topics to get to that laugh. Not my fault that you made that assumption.

'You only go there to get p#ssy/d#ck or to get compliments.

The first thing I wanna say in regards to this is that if you have to say something this crass or blunt then YOU KNOW THAT YOU MUST NOT BE DOING YOUR JOB IN GIVING SAID THINGS. You know it. I don't wanna hear about what is causing you NOT TO DO YOUR JOB either. If you got the nuts to say this then you must have also gotten the cojones to look at your role in it and say "I know why he/she goes there and I am not doing my job..." Period. So having said that, what I wanna know is why don't YOU JUST SAY THAT. If you really think that your spouse is trolling the Internet looking for an ego boost or some sex that they aren't getting from you THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT besides giving the laptop the side eye every time they open it. Here's an idea, WHY DON'T YOU GIVE THEM SOME OF SAID ATTENTION that you think they are seeking? Remember when you used to send him dirty texts talking about "Whose p#ssy is this?" Remember those?? Well, you might want to take off the mental block and get back on your game. Remember those lil compliments you used to give her? How you used to show up at her job to make sure that the lil UPS dude/head cafeteria dude/boss guy knew her man was on his job? Yeah those visits fool! You might wanna start those up and keep it up this time. (Gasp) What a damm novel concept. Your welcome by the way. I oughta smack you though for not thinking of it first. Getting mad at your spouse for sh#t that you used to provide on the regular that they should expect is NOT FAIR. We all have our moments and that is fine but there is a line somewhere.

Now for all of you people that like to do the following things:

Make lil dummy accounts where your spouse frequents.
Break into their email accounts to see what is 'going on'.
Go off and join some stupid BLATANT DATING SITE and put up profiles hoping to either catch your spouse there or to do something stupid yourself outta spite.

STOP IT. Please. You are making yourself look bad and your spouse too. Especially if your spouse is on a network with YOUR FRIENDS. You know the same ones that you claimed
had no impact on some of the stupid sh#t you have done in the past. Remember that statement ladies and gentleman? I am sure you have made it.

This breaking into email sh#t gets it OWN paragraph. Listen, I know that if you are at the point that you feel the need to break into some one's email that sh#t is rough. I can respect it from that angle. You need answers and you are not getting them. Fine. Two things though. First, if you gott a look that hard for answers that you already know the answers you are hustling backwards. Confirmation my #ss. You know what it is and more than likely you know who you are dealing with ANYWAY! Second. I am almost positive that during the day, you have conversations with strangers during the day in which words are exchanged that your spouse might not like. I also know you ain't running home telling them how they REALLY MADE YOU FEEL. So unless you are just straight up appalled by what you are hearing in your everyday life from others, you can't put but so much weight into things that are said via email/online/etc. The person on the other end of the email is no more of a threat than the dude that bags your groceries or that gal that chats you up at the mall or gym. Think of it like that. Or maybe you are and that is why you are mad. Either way that should put a different perspective on things for you. I have had partners have their accounts hacked into only to have the person find what they wanted to know and NOT DO SH@T ABOUT IT. What is the point of that? lol I don't get it. Now you know the truth and still nothing happens? Oh wait, you knew the truth but just felt like having something concrete to yell about huh? Stupid...


That's all for now..I think..