(Words, Grown Folks Talk) Oh it is THAT time of year again....

The time of year when we look back at the year's biggest, brightest, dumbest, and all the other 'est' that the year has had to offer. (Hell I might make a 'best of' list sometime. Who knows? No 'worst of' though.) In this case, we are closing out a decade so it is maximized even further. Best of the decade lists. Worst of the decade lists.

We reflect over what we have done, the things that transpired and what we vow to do better. Then we make these lovely proclamations about what we are going to do. Well, some of us do. For some, this is the only way we will even ATTEMPT to do what it is we deem 'essential' to do to improve our existence.

For others, like me, we prefer to move in silence. Not so much to save face but quite the opposite. To SEE THE LOOK ON FACES when the improvements that WE KNEW WE WANTED TO MAKE comes to fruition. I won't sit here and wax philosophical about not being motivated by others in any way, shape, form or fashion. That is foolish. For without people to see it, improvement will never get noticed. I am a human. I would like SOMEONE to see it and recognize it. No. That is not what I am saying. What I am saying is that the threat of failure in your eyes does not motivate me. The only threat of failure that motivates me is me failing myself. Period. I could NOT ALWAYS SAY THAT with certainty as like most of you, I was bought up on what I call 'straddling the fence' mentality. Not just at home per say but by the SOCIETY AS A WHOLE. "Do it for yourself" on one hand swiftly followed by the oxymoron of them all "You are what people think of you.." type of mottos. Now if that is not confusing, I don't know what is. I mean, lets face it, I do ONE THING WRONG and I am a disappointment/failure/insert word to you. Never to recover from my fall of grace in your eyes. Correct? Right. If I can forgive myself for disappointing MYSELF, I may be better equipped to forgive others. A lesson, some of you have CLEARLY have not learned. You haven't forgiven yourself, people haven't forgiven you for your misgivings and thus we have one big cycle of NONFORGIVENESS that is permeating our society. Some of you DON'T KNOW how to forgive. It is time you learned how to at least try.

Alone, each of the above statements make PERFECT sense. Combining the two, however, is pretty tricky depending on the situation. (I can think of plenty that will test the limits of each theory if you combine them. Marriage. Job. Children. Etc, etc, etc) You have to pick one, I believe. That is just MY personal belief. I don't expect you to follow it. Do what you do. I am NOT HERE TO CHANGE YOUR MIND. Just to give you a little insight on why I do what I do. So yeah, I will TRY to keep the "I'm going to do this in '10..." rants to a minimum. I might speak on what is going to happen WITH THE BLOG but me personally? Minimum. It is not that I don't have the drive or a list of things to do. I do. In spades actually. It is that I will be a little busy trying to make them happen and a lot less busy trying to convince you or anyone else that I am going to do them. Which is what I see a lot of people doing. Wasting their time trying to appear to the World that they are dedicated to change. Along with the World's stupid self defecating attitude that it is somehow owed these declarations. Please. As if 3/4ths of those involved in your world REALLY give a shit about you to the point that it is THAT IMPORTANT that you succeed. Yeah right.

Oh, I sound bitter? Ha. Isn't that you I hear gossiping about your co-workers failings? Your brother's mother of his children. That whore of a girlfriend (your words...not mine) you hang around with. Wasn't that you talking about Tiger and his women and passing judgment? Oh yeah...That was you. So don't tell me you don't revel in the pain of others or I sound bitter. For some of you, others pain is your elixir to your own and it is poisoning you. Yet you don't even know it. You perk up and get REAL EMOTIONAL at the very mention of another person's failures. Quick to hand people their 'L's" in life over stupid shit. Ready to declare lives ruined over stuff that quite frankly HAS BEEN HAPPENING OVER THE COURSE OF TIME. Just because you chose to ignore it and now you can see it affect someone close to you, it is the end all be all. Not realizing more people have done it, overcome it, did AGAIN and overcome it again RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR 'CHILDLIKE' EYES. (There is a STRONG HINT THERE. Take it.) You remember when we were little and those adults in your lives told you "You don't know everything.."? Newsflash! They were alluding to some of the things that some of you are JUST NOW finding out about now. The things that some of you think are exclusive to star athletes, those 'other people' over there who are somehow more flawed than you and whatnot. I see some of you didn't take the hint. In hindsight, while they were trying to protect us, I wish they had not. I wish they would have just came out and said it. 'Cause a lot of you are clueless. Getting butt hurt upon finding out your parents are human and made some of the same bad mistakes that you are out here clowning people for now. Giving people Scarlett letters like Hester Prynne (if you are as smart as you think you are then you KNOW who she is...) when your mother was no saint. When your 'role model Dad', was out doing his thing. Oh you thought them arguments they were having were about the grass not being cut or his steak being cold? Oops. My bad. You stay in fantasy land. Let the rest of us know when you are ready to come to the real world. Before you go around ostracizing others for their transgressions, you MIGHT WANT TO LOOK AROUND AT THOSE that made you who you are and do your research. Like Snoop said on Dre Day.."When you diss Dre, you diss yourself...mofos.." @ what 99 percent of you are out there doing with all this 'outing'/ostracizing/and out and judgments of people you don't even KNOW in most cases or do know and you have done dirt WITH YOURSELF. Like I said in a post earlier this year, why do you think when older people get news on these types of things, they are not surprised or all up in arms? (Chuckles)


You don't discriminate though, I will give you that. You shit on your friends too. Quickly even. So yeah, miss me with that "Not me..I don't want to see my friends do bad..." shit. Your actions are telling man. Unfortunately, it is not just exclusive to woman either. Some of these ni##as is bitches too and some of these ni##as look just like you...-Snoop. Which is sad.

You want to make a 'New Year's resolution'? Make that trait go away. For good. Don't declare it for me either. Hell, don't even tell me (or the rest of us) that you made it. Just DO IT. Maybe then, all the other things that you want to concentrate on will get your full undivided attention and you won't have to stop doing them by mid Feb/March. (Yes, I am talking about a couple of specific resolutions I see people make.) You can spend your energy doing something else.


I know..I know..Some of you live in a World so cut and dry, so black and white that NONE of this applies to you. Good for you. Hope it continues. The odds are against you though....

Before you fix your font to come at me about what I just wrote remember these things.

I don't bitch and moan in my timelines on ANY SITE you see me on. Nor do I do so in person. That doesn't mean shit is sweet. It is not. Occasionally, (That means with months and months of time gone by between each occurrence for you slow people) I MIGHT HINT AT SOMETHING. That's it. Then, whatever I am dealing with, I get to solving it. Period. If it is recurring problem, I REALLY DON'T TALK ABOUT IT. lol So don't come at me with the "Well you do it..." shit. I don't.

I am just the messenger. Even though in this case, I am not a main culprit of doing said things, I HAVE DONE THEM (and more) and I try really hard not to do them. Hence the first paragraph. Don't shoot the messenger. Just take the message and do what you will with it.


Don't worry about whether or not me typing this makes me too invested either. I typed it and let go. It was on my mind and I let it off. Unlike you and some of the very things I spoke on up top. Some of you are typing Tiger jokes (or texting about that all those people in your life you constantly talk about)RIGHT NOW in your cells, Facebook status, or Twitters...So who is too invested again?

Sorry for cussing...- Jeezy

Have a great year.

Me.